


Compromises of the Body and Soul

by Purple_Firestorm



Series: Every Choice Made (The Walking Dead) [2]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Violence, M/M, Multi, Negan's filthy mouth, Non-Canon Events, Non-Canonical Character Death, Smut, Triggers, Violence, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:16:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8809291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_Firestorm/pseuds/Purple_Firestorm
Summary: Aura has left the saviors in favor of trying to find a new home, and eventually ends up at Alexandria, with Daryl. At the sanctuary, Negan feels his power slipping and more and more people feel anger and resent him for 'killing' Aura. When he learns she might still be alive, he puts a prize on her head, one that becomes too much for Daryl and Rick to ignore. Certain she'll be killed, Aura still feels no fear, and celebrates one last time with Daryl. And Aura now faces a serious choice at the sanctuary: lose her doctor position and no longer be able to help others, pay a price for her leaving but be free of Negan and his constant presence, and still be who she is. Or, she can come back as the doctor, and even go to other communities and be their doctor once a month, but she will need to submit to Negan in every way, and lose who she is. Be herself with a new scar and the popular vote, or be the hero for everyone else but dead inside. Not an easy choice to make.





	1. Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the 2nd part of one of my Walking Dead series. So far, this one has turned out better than my last series, and I've found it easier to write. For those that didn't read the first part: Aura is the former doctor for the saviors, has the popular vote, can't stand Negan and he knows it, and was cast out when a run went bad. She's met and enjoyed some time with Daryl, connecting with him on a very deep level. Eventually, she worked her way back to the Sanctuary, to fulfill a promise she made a dying friend. There, caught up? There's more to it, but you'll need to read the first part to fully understand it.
> 
> More Daryl and more Negan to come, yay!

I had left behind everyone I had gotten to know as I left that place behind, the sanctuary, and all I could think about where the people I was leaving behind, all the people that would need my help someday, but I felt confident that Negan would get their attention away from me soon enough. He would make them forget I was ever there, he would be able to brainwash them again, like he did with his stupid rules. That was one thing I wasn’t going to miss, those damn meetings, bowing for him, or reciting that stupid mantra he tried to ingrain in our heads. I had never actually said it aloud, not once, because I would not be his puppet to control.

But even as I thought about all this, I couldn’t help but feel a terrible hurt in my heart and chest as I looked back at the dimly lit building, a light occasionally obscured as a guard blocked the light while on patrol. I knew almost all 250 residents by name now, and I had established friends inside those walls. I would miss them, all those people I cared about, but I wouldn’t miss Negan, the way he ran the place, or how manipulative he was. Before leaving I looked at Nikki one last time, and I saw her give a faint, half-wave to me, her cheeks sparkling as tears ran down them, and I waved back. Then I turned to the woods, the dense trees, and slipped between them like a shadow, and never looked back.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nikki stared down at the small package in her hand, and the curiously was too much. She opened the small black box and put her hand to her mouth, trying hard not to cry, but failing as she looked at the small ring inside, the word ‘Promise’ carved inside the band, done by hand. She sniffled, knowing how this would affect Michael; he had wanted for him and Ryan to finally come out as a couple, but Ryan had always been a little afraid, unwilling to make any kind of commitment. And though it would give Michael some comfort to know what Ryan had planned on doing, it would hurt the most that neither of them would get the chance to try something serious. 

Nikki slipped the box back into her pocket with the note she had read, and decided the safest way to get it him was to leave it for him in his room. After she was done with her guard shift, she wrote a note for him, then left it on his desk in his room, next to the small drawing someone had made of Ryan and Michael when they first became friends. It was a plain drawing, done with pencil and charcoal, but it was beautiful, shaded in and looked like a painting more than a hand-rendered drawing. They were arm over arm, smiling next to one another and Michael was pressing his lips close to Ryan’s cheek. Nikki picked up the picture and looked at it for several minutes before she set it back down gently on the desk and placed the box on in front of the picture, her note folded nicely on top of it.

Michael returned to his room to see someone had left something on his desk, blocking the picture of him and Ryan together. Before picking up the package, Michael picked up the drawing and looked at it, tears falling down his face freely, as he looked at the man he had loved, and would now never be able to have. But Ryan hadn’t wanted a real relationship, they had been little more than friends with benefits. And Michael had been getting distant with Ryan the week before Ryan was killed, saying that he wasn’t willing to wait forever. That was the last thing that Ryan had heard from Michael, and it destroyed him on the inside as Michael sat down and looked at the drawing, running his fingers down the glass, longing for the warmth and comfort that Ryan had always brought him.  
Michael finally picked up the box and note on top of it, and read the note first.

‘Mickey,  
This was given to me to pass along to you. It’s from Ryan, before he died. I hope it brings you peace.’ 

Michael knew it was from Nikki, she was the only person that called him Mickey, to match her Nikki, and they were close friends. Michael opened the box and instantly dissolved into tears as he flipped open the small inner black box. The silver ring inside was etched on the inside in Ryan’s handwriting, a beautiful promise ring. Michael could see and hear Ryan now, showing this to him as Ryan took him aside, awkward as he held out the box, the big guy he was, and asking Michael to be his boyfriend, to be his. and Ryan would promise to be Michael’s one and only, to be together for everything, for each other; and Ryan would try not to look all wussy, and be awkward because he wasn’t good with emotions. Michael pulled out the note and looked at the note folded up in the box. A small smear of blood was on the corner of the note, and it looked like someone had read the note and gotten it wet with their tears.

Michael fell to the floor in an open-mouth scream, but he was silent as he looked the note over and over again, professing that they would be together forever, and that Ryan loved Michael with all his heart, even if he wasn’t able to show it very well. Michael wasn’t sure whether to be happy to finally know the truth, or to be sad that Ryan and him would never be able to be together. Michael looked at the ring and slipped it over his left hand and marveled at how well it fit his hand. He would wear it proudly, and enjoy the feeling on his hand for as long as he needed. He missed Ryan every moment of the day, had loved his with all his heart and wished they could be together.

Michael glanced as the knife on the desk and touched the edge of it with his fingers, wondering if he would be able to do it, to run the cold metal across his wrists, to finally join Ryan and leave this hell that he was forced to call life. But Ryan would be so disappointed. Michael knew he needed to wait for his time to be up to join Michael but that was ok. There were plenty of moments where accidents could happen, and often did happen; he was willing to wait for one of those to come up. 

Nikki and Michael passed one another in the halls a few nights later and Michael stopped her and then hugged her so hard she lost her breath. “thank you so much,” Michael said as he let her go, Nikki taking in a deep breath as she looked at him, confused for a moment, then remembered. “why’d he give it t’you?” Michael finally asked her as they walked side by side, talking a trip through the halls, not worrying about someone hearing them as they talked. It hadn’t crossed their minds that someone was listening to them talk, but some people had nothing better to do with their time. 

“He didn’t, someone else gave me the ring. He took it with him on the last run,” Nikki said and Michael stopped, shocked. “How the hell’d it get back here then?” he said to her and she shook her head. Talking about Aura was something Negan had now banned inside the walls, and anyone that mentioned her name was likely to get punished.

Understanding slowly crossed Michael’s face and he felt his heart soar for the first time since he found out Ryan had died. “so, she’s still alive. I knew nothin’d kill her, Negan’s tried,” he said jokingly and then stopped joking. Negan had been in a very shitty mood since Aura had left, and his mood was only getting worse as the days went on. He wouldn’t leave his room, not even to go get supplies from other communities, and had actually dumped wife #5 and #4, but he got 4 new ones. They were now on cleaning duty, which involved cleaning all the dishes, tools and anything that wasn’t laundry. It was not a fun thing and it was for very few points. 

“Yeah she is. Slipped right past the guards few nights ago; it was impressive. She looked like she’d gone thru hell, and it looked like something had gutted her and she sewed herself back together. Very Frankenstein’s monster,” she said with a half laugh. A guard loyal to Negan looked at them as they passed and Nikki said, “speaking of, do you have the copy of that book, or do I need to go begging?” she said, quickly melding the subjects together to avoid detection. 

“Nope, aint got it. Try Katie, I think she read it last,” Michael said and tried to not look conscious about the new ring that was on his finger. The guard didn’t seem to notice and kept walking and the friends looked at one another. This would be the last time they were able to about it inside the walls. Maybe they would go on a run together or something and talk then.


	2. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki and Michael of the Saviors go on a run together, and talk about Aura still being alive, and Negan's slow decent into what seemed like madness. Unfortunately, the ban on talking about Aura is still enforced outside the walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character Death and violence warning. But, its the Walking Dead, so yeah.

It was more than a week after that conversation that they were able to go on a run together. Wife #5 had killed herself, and so had 14 others, either sick and couldn’t be treated and knew they’d die painfully, or feeling like hope was lost. A few of them had painted, “We’ll see you soon Aura” in bright green paint on their room walls. 

Guards had tried to stop others from seeing the painting and the bodies, but it was no good and Negan felt he was slowly losing control of his people. Though they had almost 250 people in their ranks, the deaths were not easy to ignore, cover-up or explain away. Negan had over and over again tried to tell his doubting people that Aura had corrupted their minds, to make them think she was like some kind of messiah, that she could protect them better than he could, and it was all lies. 

But his words were losing their hold on people, and at meetings, fewer and fewer people were saying the words “the rules keep us safe.” Negan found himself thinking that if he had tried harder, pushed her more…no, that would’ve made her angrier, fueled her more. He wished he had told her gently, been nicer to her, and told her that he needed her to lead. He hated sharing, he really did, but he was now losing everything, it was all slipping away through his fingers.

Michael and Nikki were able to get together for a run almost 2 weeks since Aura had delivered the box to Nikki. They were on the run with a few others, not many, and thankfully Dwight wasn’t with them. If he knew that they had seen Aura alive, eh would kill them both to keep his secret. Michael had come to the conclusion that Dwight had lied about the entire thing and now blamed Dwight for Ryan’s death, but never to his face. That would cause too many questions, and talking about Aura, in any way, shape or form, was forbidden; points would be taken away, you’d get beaten by the guards, Negan himself if he needed the release, or he’d even bash their heads in with Lucille if he was in a very bad mood. It seemed to Michael and Nikki that Negan was becoming unstable, unhinged and he was no longer the charismatic, clever man they had once known. It almost seemed like he was broken, like some pieces of him were falling out of his head and he had no idea how to get them to go back into place.

Michael and Nikki paired up with one another, like they always did on runs, and were huddled together for safety and warmth. Fall was upon them in full blast, trees had lost their leaves, walkers were slowing down as the air froze them and slipped on the few ice puddles that formed in the cracked roads and sidewalks. Frost had killed off the last of the crops in the field, so all they had left was the reserves in the storage area; but what had more people worried was the complete lack of any kind of doctor. Negan had found someone that had a little experience with medicine, but he was terrible, old-fashioned and out of practice. Many of the kids knew more than that doctor did.

Michael and Nikki were charged with trying to find some medical supplies, anything that could be used, because the last of their supplies had been used on the injured guards that all died anyway, and no other communities had anything left to give. As they split off from the main group and cleared a few smaller buildings on the outside of the city, they finally had a chance to talk. Nikki told Michael everything, everything she could remember, and even admitted to reading the note that Ryan had left for him; Michael felt better, knowing that Aura was still alive and was probably on her way to another group that might take her in, far away from Negan’s reach. She was better off than the rest of them, considering that Negan was lowly losing his mind.

“The fuck you say?” a deep, angry voice said behind them and they both turned around, terrified. They didn’t know that Jasper had been following them. Nikki pulled out her gun and so did Michael and Jasper. 

“This doesn’t need to get ugly,” Michael said, his hand on the trigger of his gun, ready to defend Nikki, but also ready to die.

“The hell it don’t. Negan aint losin’ his mind. And ya don’t go ‘round talkin’ ‘bout that bitch at all, not while yer part of the saviors,” Jasper said, his gun raised.

“Maybe we’re better off not being part of the saviors,” Nikki said after a long pause and Jasper laughed. 

“Ya think ya gonna get it better anywhere else? Ya think ya’ll live if ya leave?” Jasper said and pulled the trigger, hitting Michael in the stomach. Michael fired back, getting Jasper in the leg, but before Nikki could fire, the others came by and without asking questions scooped them all up into the van and took off, heading back to the sanctuary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed, and I know that this is kind of a filler chapter.


	3. Negan Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan finally finds out about Aura being alive, and demands she be found.

“They better have a good fucking reason to be back so fucking soon,” Negan said to himself, cleaning up Lucille for the 3rd time that day. The group was supposed to be gone for the night, but was returning before sundown. Lucille was well waxed and almost too shiny; Negan had been obsessing over cleaning his bat the last week and hadn’t really left his office, leaving it up to Dwight and Jasper. He did come out sometimes to beat someone to death, when they talked about Aura, but not because he hated her, because he couldn’t be reminded of her. Instead of her fading from his mind, her face, her laugh, her eyes, her spirit, was getting harder and harder for him to forget.

“What the fuck happened?” he said as he came down from his office and looked at the group returning, carrying a very badly injured Michael and limping Jasper. 

“Negan, sir,” Jasper called up to him and he walked down the stairs to see what the hell happened. Jasper was glaring at Michael and Nikki, who glared right back and both instantly started shouting at one another, and Nikki tried to jump Jasper, but instead settled for shoving her fingers in his bullet wound. 

“Who the hell’s gonna fix you up now?” Nikki said before she was pulled away and forced to sit down on a gurney and Negan glared from one to the other.

“Jasper, what the fuck happened?” Negan said and Nikki looked terrified and quickly hid something she had in her hand. Negan pulled her away from the gurney and she knelt on the ground and he held out his hand. 

“I'm fucking not going to fucking ask you,” he said and Nikki slowly pulled out Aura old bracelet, the one made by her brother. Nikki could see the recognition on Negan’s face and it terrified her, she started crying. 

“When did she give this to you? You know I hate repeating myself, Nikki, so I won’t ask again,” he said and increased his grip on Lucille, ready to bring her down on the sobbing girl's head.

“2 weeks ago,” Nikki squeaked out, her breathing fast and her face covered in sweat. Negan's increased the hold he had on Lucille. 

“You fucking saw her, and she's fucking still alive?” Negan said and Nikki slowly nodded her head. “Tell me,” he said and Nikki looked at the ground, her tears making a puddle on the floor. 

“15 days ago, she climbed the wall where I was guarding and gave me Ryan’s promise ring. She asked me to give it to Michael for her. She said you wouldn’t allow her back ‘cause she lost the supplies. Then she told me to keep the bracelet. I haven’t seen her since,” she said, her shoulders shaking as she finally breathed out the secret she and Michael had been forced to hide for weeks now. 

“We were better with her than without,” Michael said, choking slowly on his own blood, refusing the treatment the people around him were trying to give. 

“Let me be with Ryan,” he finally breathed out and everyone backed away from him and started to instead say goodbye. Michael was ready to die. “You shot me, you sonovabitch,” Michael said as he looked up at Jasper, as best he could as the blood loss slowly claimed his life. 

“No’on can speak that bitch’s name. She left us high ‘n’ fuckin’ dry,” Jasper shouted back, his leg being wrapped in cloth. “Sorry, that’s the best I can do,” the woman said as she looked from Jasper to the others, then bowed her head and left the medical bay. Negan looked down at Nikki, at her shivering body, filled with fear and he sighed.

“I don’t like not being in the loop, Nikki. You’re on shit-cleaning duty the next 2 weeks,” Negan said and Nikki slowly looked up; she couldn’t believe that Negan wasn’t gonna bash her head in. he walked out of the room to an equally astonished crowd that had gathered and they all bowed and looked at him in a new light. Was he changing for the better, or was he finally cracking. “Dwight!” he called for his 2nd, and Dwight came scampering like a loyal dog, and they had a meeting with Jasper in the medical bay.

“I’ve found out Aura’s still fucking alive. And I want her fucking found,” Negan said and both men looked like he was crazy, then they looked down in fear as he glared at them. “And I fucking hate being fucking lied to,” Negan finally said and punched Dwight in the face. He wanted to bash in Dwight’s head right here and now, but it needed to wait until they had Aura back. “Dwight, gather all the runners and collectors for a meeting, now,” Negan said and the injured and still dazed man got up from the floor and walked out of the room and headed down, calling for various people. Negan looked over at Michael, who was fading fast and then looked at Jasper. “You followed my orders, but you killed him. And you wasted ammo while killing him,” Negan said in his dark voice and Jasper knew he would be punished soon too.

“Please Negan, I beg you. I was followin’ yer orders. Ya said no’on was to talk ‘bout her ever again. They’re talkin’ ‘bout her like she’s fuckin’ Jesus Christ, sayin’ the saviors were better off with’er than without’er,” Jasper spat out, trying hard not to look up at Negan as the towering and angry man slowly got closer.

“We were better off with her. You’re gonna die from infection, I’m gonna bleed to death, and most of us’ll be dead before spring,” Michael said thickly, the blood coming from his mouth as he spoke. 

“You know, I always imagined Aura and Negan would one day get together. I think everyone thought that they would be the best leaders in the whole goddamn world if they were leadin’ together. Aura cares about people, knows them well and gets along with everyone. And Negan keeps order with outside forces, brings other communities to their knees. I always thought those 2 had the whole sexual tension going on. She once told me she wouldn’t mind cooperating with him, if it kept everyone safe and he took it down a notch. Said she’d forget she couldn’t stand Negan, and try to help everyone. She puts Mother Theresa to shame, don’t you think Ryan?” Michael looked over to a black corner of the room, where the light flickered on and off, where the lights were dying and there weren’t any left to replace it. Michael saw Ryan, standing in the light as it flickered on and off, and he was reaching out to him, a matching ring on his left hand, with the word ‘promise’ engraved on the top of the ring.

Nikki looked at her friend and slowly got to her feet, put her hand over his and held Michael’s hand as his breathing stopped and he stilled. She cried again, more tears running down her cheeks as she pushed her knife into her best friend’s brain and leaned into his bloody chest, crying. She ran over to Jasper suddenly, dropping the knife and starting punching him. Someone rushed over and pulled her off him, throwing her out of the room and told her to get some sleep. Nikki stalked off to her room, wiping tears from her eyes as she went and she heard muttering and stares as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this so far. We'll get back to Aura and her 1st person POV soon. Poor Michael. Let me know what you thought, and any comments, suggestions or feedback is welcomed.  
> Luv 4 u all!


	4. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan holds a meeting and announces he is looking for Aura, and puts his own plan into place.

Negan gathered everyone for a meeting, saying they needed to find Aura, that she was still alive as of 2 weeks ago. Negan said he had a few things left to tie up with her, and then she’d be free to rejoin them. Everyone looked so confused as they wondered what had gotten into Negan. A few days ago, he had given someone an iron to the chest for talking about Aura, now he wanted her back. 

“I see that you all miss her. For you all, my people, my family, I’ll let her come back. You’ve all been so hardworking, good people, and you’ve trusted me to lead. So, I think I can handle her abrasive nature for the sake of my people. Runners, tell every community when you collect that the safe return of Aura has an award attached to it. Tell them, it’s no collection for a week of their choosing,” Negan said after thinking it over and the people looked at one another. 

Some thought it was risky, but this was oddly humanitarian of Negan. While some worried that this marked that Negan was finally losing it, or that he would go back on his promise and would kill Aura as soon as someone brought her to him, most thought he was being sincere.

“I think he means it. I think he actually misses Aura.”

“Miss her, no. but if he really takes her back because it’s important to us…”

“I like this new Negan.”

“I hope Aura’s still alive. 2 weeks in normal time is like 2 months in ‘outside the walls’ time.”

“Ha, not for Aura, she’s a badass.”

“Yeah she is. You think they’ll be able to get along when she gets back?”

“Aura would lay her life down for us. I think she can handle Negan for us.”

“And now Negan’s willing to handle Aura for us. I never thought that’d happen.”

“Me either. I’m still in shock. Will you pinch me and make sure I’m not dreaming?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. This aint a dream, or I’d be waking up in my warm bed back in Florida.”

These were the main thoughts that everyone had for the next few days before the next pickup date and the runners would tell everyone community the bounty for Aura. The runners had made a card they could read off of, created by Negan to make sure everyone got the message, the same message. They all figured the lure of not having to give up half their shit for any week of their choosing would be a big enough temptation to bring Aura to them next time they stopped by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are liking this so far. Comments, suggestions, and feedback is appreciated. Luv4uall!


	5. The Reward for Aura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Alexandria, Rick and Daryl hear about Aura's capture reward, and Daryl tells Rick everything about their meeting, and I mean everything (wink). And they debate whether Daryl should look for her before another community gets her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed who got beaten to death by Negan. I know it was (spoiler if you havent seen it) Glenn and Abraham, but I changed it to Sasha. I like them more than I like Sasha. My story.

Rick was angry, tired and hungry, but so were most of the people he cared about; his son had lost a little weight, and so had everyone else. Since Negan and started taking half their supplies, rationing was tighter and everyone was looking worse for the wear. And with winter just around the corner, and snow already starting to fall, getting out to gather supplies would be that much harder. Right on cue, the collectors showed up at the gates and were let in with many grumbles and dark looks. They then asked for everyone to gather round, because Negan was looking for someone, and was offering an award. The tallest of the group with a deep, loud voice spoke to the entire community, his voice carrying over the wind and the snow that started to fall.

“Attention all communities: Negan, leader of the Saviors is looking for a woman that goes by the name of Aura. She has intense green eyes, honey-colored hair that’s normally in a single braid, and skin about the same shade as wet sand. She normally carries a bow, and is in possession of a rifle with powerful scope. She has double pierced ears, is missing a tooth on the upper back left and has a cracked lower back left tooth. The first community to bring her to the runners on a collection day with receive the reward of choosing one week to not give tribute to Negan and the Saviors.” The man finished and everyone looked at one another. Who could be so important that Negan would allow them to skip any week they wanted? Most of the community looked at the men with the same disdain and hatred as before and the runners left with the supplies Rick was forced to set aside for the Saviors.

Beside Rick, Daryl was thinking: it had been a month since he had seen Aura, that beautiful woman in the woods, and she had downplayed who she was, had said she hated Negan, and now suddenly Negan needed her badly. His first thought was that she was in danger if she was returned to him. The 1-week hiatus wouldn’t be enough for him to go looking for her, and he had no intention of turning her over if he did find her. But he felt it was time for him to tell Rick about their meeting in the woods. When the runners left the community, Daryl pulled Rick aside and they had a private meeting in Daryl’s house.

“You didn’t tell me sooner?” Rick finally said after Daryl finished telling Rick everything, even the sexy bits. Despite his anger, Rick had patted his best friend on the back for finally finding someone. And the for sexy bits.

“She tell you anythin’ about where they are, what their numbers are?” Rick asked and Daryl shook his head. 

“She refused to tell me. I doubt she’d tell ya anythin’ even if she’s tortured. Girl talked me thru a fuckin’ surgery,” Daryl said leaning back against his counter and Rick leaned back too. 

“Thank you brother, for telling me. Ya wanna go find her?” Rick asked the expert tracker. 

“Dunno. I know ya wan’ that free week 'fore som’n else gets it. But she’s smart, and as good a hun'er as I’ve seen. She won' be found if she don' wanna be. ‘sides, we hand her over, we’d give her to Negan, and she said they hated each other. He’d pro’ly kill her.” Daryl said and looked at his friend. Both of them were showing the loss of food they’d gone through the last few weeks, and it was something they were both concerned about. Even if they were able to eat as much as they could, if Negan found out that he didn’t get half of whatever they found or Daryl caught, he’d make an example of them again. They both remembered that night well enough, Sasha’s death was hard on them all, but mostly Abraham. Those 2 had been getting closer, and Abraham hadn’t been the same since.

“Don’t look for her. If she’s as good as you say, she won’t be found. I doubt anyone will risk looking for someone in miles of woods, walkers and cold for just a pick-up free week.” Rick said and Daryl nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Comments, suggestions and feedback are welcomed. Luv4uall!


	6. Reunion with an Alexandrian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We catch up with Aura and her wandering around the area, until she runs into Daryl again. (winks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead, near the end of the chapter, if that's what you are here for.

I spent the last 4 weeks on my own, traveling from small hiding spot to other hiding spot, staying in the same area, hoping someone would take me in. I had gone to the smaller communities that I knew about first. In total, Negan took from 11 communities, some as big as the hilltop with over 100 people, to the smallest one with just 13. I went to the smallest community first and caught them in the middle of a fight with a herd, probably the last one of the season before the frost and snow froze them solid. I killed a lot of walkers from the sidelines, hidden in some overgrown car wreck on the side of the road, but I barely made a dent as I shot my last arrow. I wouldn’t shoot my guns at the walkers, it would only call them towards me, so I went back into the woods as the 13 members ran for their lives, going to another small outpost they had in the woods, and would wait until the walkers had moved on and come back then.

I didn’t meet them up at the other outpost, they would shoot me before I got within shouting distance, so I headed for the nearest one, about 20 miles away. But they told me to leave with guns pointed in my direction before I could even greet them. A week passed as I wandered the woods, heading north for a while, then west, then south then east. I had no real place to go in mind as I wandered. I tried the other small communities, but they all said they couldn’t take in anyone else, they didn’t have the resources, and I knew they were right. With the majority of canned goods already eaten, Negan taking a large portion of what they needed to survive, a lot of people would starve to death this winter. I wouldn’t be among them; I would die from the cold first.

As the days melted into weeks, I wondered if I should try the hilltop, and maybe they would take me in as a medical aid for their doctor. But if the runners ever saw me, I knew Negan would want them to kill me, and probably a bunch of others for retaliation. While looking through a store one day, I came to the hair products aisle and aside from shampoo, condition, and a much needed brush, I saw the hair dye. I pulled them out, one at a time, then thought that dying my hair might help. I also found some plastic glasses that looked real, with thin plastic in the lenses, and looked at myself with them on. I looked different, and with a different hair color, the odds of someone recognizing me was a lot smaller. I took all the fake glasses they had and a few bottles of black hair dye.

The next day, I was looking in a small, cracked mirror in my latest stop. Black dye was all over the broken bathroom, but I was pleased with the results. I cut my hair some too, taking off about 6 inches and looked at it. I was pleased; it looked decent and was much more practical than my overly long braid I had before. I slid on the glasses and I looked like someone else. It was hard to see who I was, not just from the dye and the glasses, but because I was filthy and my skin was covered in a layer of dirt, sweat and walker guts.

After a few more days of walking, I made it to the hilltop, but they weren’t willing to take any more in. The winter was going to be hard on them too, despite their numbers, and I walked away from them before I had a chance to tell them I could help. I figured it was probably for the best, because if I was found there, they would pay the cost for taking me in. So I headed for the last place I had in mind, Alexandria, where Daryl lived with his leader and best friend, Rick.

I walked towards Alexandria, where I had seen their community marked on a map, and heard the sounds of someone walking on the snowy, cold ground. I stopped, knife out and then recognized the muscular, unkempt form of Daryl as he tracked a deer herd in the woods. I cleared my throat as he neared me and raised his bow in reflex and he looked surprised to see me.

“yer still alive?” he asked and I raised an eyebrow. “Why should I be dead?” I asked him and he walked to me and leaned against the tree I was behind. “’cause Negan put a ransom on yer head. Says he needs ya fer sum’n. Says the group that finds ya first gets a free week from losin’ their shit, any week they want.” I looked at him, surprised and a little worried. How did he know I was still alive? “Nikki, oh poor Nikki,” was all I could say as I thought about it and worried about her, worried for her. I didn’t think Negan would kill her just for taking a message for me, but then again, it was Negan.

Daryl looked at me, confused and I collected myself. “Are you gonna turn me in?” I asked him finally and he shook his head. “Nah, not worth my time,” he said a little playfully and I threw some snow in his face. “Yer gonna pay fer that,” Daryl said and tried to tackle me, and failed as I spun around him and he turned to me, fast and nimble like the true hunter he was, and got my arm and pulled me into his body. I breathed in his smell, gasoline, wet leaves, and campfire, and he said, “ya gonna sniff me like a damn dog or ya gonna lose yer clothes?” I chose the second one.

He quickly tried to set up his tent as I pulled off my many layers of clothes, then starting pulling his off, even as he still tried to put up the tent. “fuck it,” he said and pulled down his pants as his lips found my neck and sucked so hard it almost hurt. He pushed me back hard and my bare skin rubbed against a large tree. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around Daryl’s waist as he looked down and rubbed in my core and I shivered. I wrapped a warm, wet hand around his cock and started stroking, watching as his head tilted back in a low growl and he grabbed my ass harder with my hands.

He leaned in fast, lining himself up with my own core, and I held my breath as he stared me down, a smirk on his face, listening to my whining as he pulled away a tiny bit, then rested the head right at my entrance. 

“Just fuck me already,” I said to him and he smirked at me before slamming himself into me as hard as he could, and I screamed as I came hard around him already. I knew I had been close, but damn. My body shook as he kept up his hard and deep pace and I felt another orgasm coming fast; I held back, keeping the feeling down as I felt him getting closer, his face getting all scrunched and intense as he pounded me so hard into the tree I was starting to scratch and bleed. But fuck if I cared.

“Daryl!” I shouted as I couldn’t hold it in anymore and my walls flexed and caved around his cock inside me and he quickly pulled out, shooting his load all over my bare and cold body, my legs still shaking. He leaned forward as he came down from his high and I wove my hands around his wide shoulder, letting him lean against me as he panted, his own body shaking a little. I smile weakly, my body still coming down from cloud 9 and he put his own arms around me and I felt him smile slightly against my neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Also, how would you rate the smut? Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed. Luv4uall!


	7. Finally in Alexandria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aura have a fun time together, hunting mostly, until a very cold storm threatens to freeze her during the night. So, into Alexandria they go.

We lay panting against the tree for I wasn’t sure how long, but I pulled myself from him and pulled my clothes on as the wind stared to pick up. 

“Want some company while you hunt?” I asked him and he nodded. “Long as ya ain't spotted, yer fine,” he said and I nodded to him and we walked together as we followed the slowly covered tracks of the deer.

That went on for about 2 weeks. It was 7 weeks since leaving the sanctuary and I wondered all the time how they were doing without me. Did they find someone to replace me, were they OK, was there a sickness going through my friends and family, just like last year? Daryl worried about me too, I could tell, because being on the road was dangerous, and we had gotten close. One day, as a massive storm threatened on the horizon and the temperature dipped to 0Fahrenheit , the wind dropping it to -10, Daryl said he would bring me back with him to Alexandria. He couldn’t leave me out here, I would freeze to death before the night was over, and he didn’t want that. He said he could sneak me in over the wall after dark.

“Just tell me where to climb over and meet me on the other side to either catch me or with a ladder. I can get up on my own, I’ve seen the pictures, I can scale it,” I said with confidence and Daryl wasn’t sure, but there was no way I was getting into the place without someone seeing me and asking a lot of questions. I didn’t need to accidentally slip up about who I was. 

Daryl led me back to Alexandria with my kill on his back, a nice sized buck, and he slipped into the place and I waited in the burnt out house outside the walls looking in. I had never been inside another community before, but I had heard the rumors about this place, how nice it was, that the residents lived in big houses, they had a solar grid, water pump system, lights and showers whenever they wanted. I wanted a shower right now, because I was filthy, smelly and I was slowly losing feeling in my fingers, toes, nose and ears as the temperature dipped and the wind picked up. I heard Daryl whistle over the sounds of the wind in the trees, and climbed up the leaning support on the outside, gripped the edges of the steel and threw myself over the top. I hung by my fingers as I saw Daryl below me and he slid a bar into a hole in the metal wall and put my feet on it and crawled down, looking everything over as Daryl pulled me by my arm into the nearest house.

“Who lives here?” I whispered faintly and he spoke normally. “’ts mine. M’not here much, normally with Aaron and Eric,” he said and I looked around at the house. It looked like someone had bought the house before the apocalypse, it was fully decorated with some boxes still in the living room, a full, massive kitchen with working sinks and lights, and it didn’t look like anyone lived here. Nothing was clean, there was some dust on the surfaces in the living room and the only thing that looked lived-in was the couch. 

“C’mon, you should smell yerself. Ya need a shower,” he said and I looked at him, pulling my scarf around his neck and pulling him to me. 

“You wanna join me?” I asked him and he looked tempted, his hard member touching my leg as I said it, but he wrapped the scarf backed around my neck and pulled slightly, and I leaned my head back onto his shoulder. 

“Can’t. Meetin’ tonight with Rick; if I miss it, they’ll come lookin’ fer me,” Daryl said as he let me go and I nodded.

“I understand. This place is a little dusty, you mind if I spruce it up when I’m spruced up?” I asked him and he shook his head and I smiled at the look on his face. “Alright then. I’ll see you later,” I said as he left his house and I walked to the upstairs bathroom and hopped in the shower. The warm water felt so good on me as I washed away all the filth and dirt that layered my skin. I was much paler than I remembered under all the dirt, but the lack of sunlight would do that to me. Who knew walker guts was a great sunscreen?

When I was cleaned up, the water running dark brown as it dripped from my body, I looked at the only other clothes I had, feeling bad I needed to put on dirty clothes now that I was clean. I decided instead to find something else and ended up finding some clothes that had been left behind by the previous owners. It was a woman’s robe, too big for me, but it would work. I pulled it on and felt so warm and luxurious, nothing like I’d felt since the turn and enjoyed the softness on my skin. Then I picked up some rags and decided to clean the house, or most of it.

I was done dusting the downstairs and almost done with the upstairs when I heard someone coming back, I heard Daryl’s voice, then I heard a deep country drawl. He had someone else with him. Daryl was talking to him, trying to get them out of the house and over to the other man’s house, so I quickly turned off the lights upstairs before they got too far in; I hid my clothes under the bed and hid myself in the closet, pulling some boxes and other random things to cover me. I watched through the slits in the closet door, a bit cliché, and I felt like I was one of those stupid people in the movies that hides in the closet only to be killed by the murderer anyway. I had nothing to fight someone off with, so I pulled my dyed-black hair around my face so it would be harder to see me in the dark closet.

Slowly, they came up the stairs and I heard Daryl no longer arguing with the other man. Other than the place being clean, there was no sign anyone else as here. The bathroom was no longer steamy, I had rinsed the tub of my grime and left nothing to show I was here. I breathed slow and quiet as they walked the hall and they passed the room I was in and headed for a back room, and I heard the door close. They were talking about something in a whisper, but through a vent I could hear some words. The words “starve,” “hunting,” “Negan” and “saviors” came up and I heard something rustling, like some paper and it sounded big, like a map. 

After what seemed like hours, they left the room and I heard the man walk back down the stairs and Daryl walked out with him, then headed back inside. I heard the door close, and then silence for a while then he came back up the stairs and called for me. 

“Ya still here?” Daryl said in a faint voice and I pushed myself free from the junk in the closet and let myself out. I sighed heavily as I looked at him and he made a half smirk at me and said, “That was yer idea of hidin’? In a closet like a kid?” Daryl said and I tossed a pillow at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this series. Comments, suggestions, and feedback is appreciated. Luv4uall!


	8. Rick Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the prize for Aura is increased, Daryl can't hide her anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahead

For almost a week I stayed in Daryl’s house; the storm had passed, and I was willing to leave and move on, but Daryl didn’t want me to, and to be honest, I didn’t want to either. This was a nicer place than the sanctuary, with more room, fewer people breathing down your neck, and I felt like I could get to know these people if given the chance. He had gone on 2 hunting trips during that time and I spent my time reading the few books he had in his house, fixing and cleaning my weapons, and looking in that room Daryl and the other man had gone into. His name was Rick, and he was the leader of Alexandria; I hadn’t seen him in person but he sounded a lot like Daryl, deep, raspy voice, country accent and both sounded like they’d seen shit and could handle themselves.

The room had a map on a massive table with half the east coast on it. I looked it over, looking at the marks and I knew they were trying to map where the saviors lived. I looked it over and saw they weren’t far off, but they missed the patrols that started 10 miles out. I took the pen, looking at the map intently and found where the saviors really lived, the complex. I wouldn’t write down where it was exactly, but I circled the industrial section, about a 5-mile section. I wrote a note on it that said, “patrols, starting at 10 miles from compound, increasing in frequency and firepower.” I looked it over and saw that some other communities were on it and decided to add to the map, marking on it where I knew they were, or about where they were, using a wooden wall with spiked top symbol to mark the communities and their approximate population on top.

I started with the smallest one, they called themselves “the Family” and they were about the size of an extended family, 13 in number, though after the herd it might be less. I then went to the others: Ravine:18, Apostles of John:22, the town of Everest:15, Springfield:50-60, The Black Pearl (yes, they really called their settlement that):15-20, Eagle’s Perch: 30-35, Wiltshire: 45-50, Riverside: 80-90. When I looked at the hilltop, I wrote the approximate number on the top: 160-180. It was odd, I know, but I kept a log of the approximate populations of all the communities, but only had estimated for the larger communities, especially one like the hilltop. After about 20 people, it was hard for the runners to count for me, or they would count the same person twice, so I would give a guess.

“How d’ya know all that?” I heard Daryl’s raspy voice said and I didn’t look up at him as I stared at the map. “I’d keep track of other populations, it’s weird I know, but if something happened to the population suddenly, I promised myself that I would leave and go help them on the next pickup date. Of course, Negan never let me leave, and he would kill the runners that let me go with them. Hell, he’d give me a guard whenever I left the sanctuary. Makes it hard to make house calls,” I said in passing and kept looking at the map. I used another color and marked off an area that was overrun with walkers, too dense for even Negan and his men to go. Then I used another color and marked off some very animal-dense portion of woods.

Daryl walked over to me, tense and not the normally grabby person he was, and I looked up at him finally. “What’s wrong?” I asked him and he looked at me, conflicted. “Negan just increased yer bounty. It’s now 4 pickup free weeks,” he said and I could tell where he was going with this. 

I heard a creak outside the door and looked up at the door and said, “Come on in, I don’t bite, regardless what Daryl might’ve told you.” Daryl looked like he might cry as he brushed my fading-black hair from my face and Rick stepped into the room and looked down at the map.

“You won’t tell us where the compound is?” he said and looked like he might punch me if I said no. 

“No, I won’t. I have people that I need to look out for too,” I said and I was right. Rick threw a mean right cross at me, but I ducked and Daryl got hit by mistake. I was at Daryl’s side in an instant and looked his injury over. It wasn’t bad, but Rick wasn’t done as he grabbed me by the neck and pinned me to the wall, looking into my eyes and growling.

“Your ‘people’ have cost us half our stuff, that we worked to get. Your ‘people’...” Rick started and I stopped him with a shove, tears in my eyes. 

“You think I don’t know that? I felt every pain whenever the shipments came in, felt the anger and contempt for the people that took it and laughed. Negan and I hated each other the moment we met, and the only reason I didn’t leave sooner was that I had someone I cared about to look after. And when he was killed, I had more people to look after, hundreds more. When Negan killed that pedophile doctor, I took his place for everyone in the entire goddamn sanctuary. I spent every waking minute hating what Negan made us do, what he made us become. We were nothing but parasites, unable to live without the other 10 hosts we leeched from; and I wasn’t alone. Other people were sick of Negan, hated him for what he did to other people, and to his own people. Negan and I were at each other’s throats constantly. He’s gotten marks to prove it, and the entire time I was there, more people were on my side than his. I had the numbers on my side, but the odds were in Negan’s favor. Too scared, unskilled or fearful to fight, the people on my side just took it and hoped that I might overthrow him one day. Do you know what would happen if I did?” I said, tears running down my face as I started shouting at Rick, his hand falling to his side, resting on his colt python.

“Our problems would’ve been over before they started,” Rick said darkly and I snarled at him and threw a punch, which Daryl caught and he pinned my arms to my side as I looked at him. “It’s like I told you weeks ago: if I staged a coup, it’d be all out civil war in the sanctuary, and more of my people would die than Negan’s, and he would kill anyone that sided with me, then kill me last, letting me watch him kill them one by one. And while everyone in the sanctuary fought each other, another group could come in and destroy everyone and everything because of what Negan's done. That’s why I never went after him,” I said and rested my head on Daryl’s shoulder and he slowly stroked my hair. 

“So, yer that doctor ya told me ‘bout?” Daryl finally asked as Rick pulled his hand from his pistol and I nodded into Daryl’s shoulder. 

“I’m not even trained, but about a month into our stay, me and my brother, a raid went bad and there were a lot of injuries, including my brother. While the other doctor was pretty useless, I worked on the others and saved all their lives: punctured lung, gut-shot, flesh-wounds, liver removal, all kinds. Negan made me the assistant, then I found out about the doc’s secret back room, and the pictures and his sick fantasies. I told Negan and I replaced that bastard doctor after his head was bashed in. The last thing I did, before leaving the saviors, was perform an appendix removal. I don’t know how she is, Sarah’s just 8 years old, and her mother was terrified of the entire concept of surgery. But she trusted me, they all did,” I was rambling but it felt good to finally get it out. Daryl rubbed my back and tried to calm me down by nibbling on my ear, both of us ignoring Rick at this point.

I sighed into his chest tighter and rubbed my forehead against his clothed chest, wishing it was bare so I could feel and hear his heartbeat better. “I know why he’s here, though. You had to tell him. Don’t feel guilty, Daryl, I don’t blame you,” I said and I rubbed his rugged, unshaved face and he did start to cry as he put his own face into my shoulder and I held him. 

“I’m sorry, but my people need those 4 weeks,” Rick said and looked at us, me and his best friend as we held each other, Rick obviously torn now that he understood the entire story. 

“I know,” I said, resigned and looked at them both.

“Pickup won’t be for another 6 days,” Rick faintly said after a long silence and Daryl held me tighter as I looked up at Rick. He looked like he was getting emotional too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed. Comments, suggestions and feedback is always welcomed. Luv4uall!


	9. One Last Night With Daryl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aura spend all the time they can together, and Aura wants to get very drunk on her last night, and be with Daryl one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Angst ahead. Aura tells everyone her name is Ally.

Daryl and I were intent on spending as much time together as we could for the last few days we had. I knew that once I was handed over, Negan would kill me, and I was resigned to my fate. But I wasn’t afraid; I had expected Negan to kill me sooner than this, and now at least I had a chance to be with someone, however short it was. Daryl wanted to take me somewhere that we could be safe, but his people needed him, and those 4 weeks. Winter was upon us and things would just get harder for everyone as snow fell, the temperature dropped and there were fewer runs to find stuff in the world.

Daryl stopped hunting those last 6 days, and I stayed with him in his house; we fucked almost every chance we got, but he surprised me one day by wanting to just cuddle for a while. He didn’t strike me as someone that wanted to cuddle, but we did. He held me, his face buried in the back of my neck, his warm breath sending shivers through my body, his arms tight around my waist as we lay on the comfy bed. He didn’t want to let me go for the entire day, and I didn’t want him to let me go either.

With only one night before the next pickup date, I decided I wanted to meet everyone and get sloppy drunk with Daryl, to enjoy one last night, a last meal I guess. I joined everyone in the main house and Daryl introduced everyone and pulled out some liquor he’d been keeping secret for some time. He popped the top off it and the cork hit the ceiling with a loud bang and everyone laughed a little bit as it landed right into Rick’s glass. I marveled at the hilarity that it was his glass. Daryl and Rick had become distant the last few days, mostly because Daryl didn’t want to lose me, no matter the prize on my head, but Rick needed the days for his people; I wasn’t mad, I was willing to go, to help Daryl and his people. If I could choose anyone to help, it would be them.

Daryl poured the liquor for everyone, giving me double the amount as everyone else, ad when I was drunk, I was giggly, talkative and flirty. I spent the first hour with Daryl then mingled with the ladies, talking about random shit. I made sure not to mention my name, who I was or what I was once part of, but I knew that once the alcohol flowed through me, I wouldn’t be able to stop it. But hell, this was going to be my last good night on earth, so who gave a fuck?

“Tell us, Ally, what brought you here?” Tara asked me as I stood, tipping my glass as I tried to take a drink and spilt a lot on me. Daryl poured more in my glass, drinking almost nothing himself and just looking at me with such sad puppy dog eyes. “Walkers forced me south, a herd from Chicago forced me into Ohio, and when it got cold that first autumn, I headed south. But damn, I don’t know how you all handle this heat. Its sticky and hot and humid in the summer, fricking a,” I said, my words being slurred as I looked into my 4th empty glass and Daryl held up the bottle again. It had about a 3rd left in it and I shook my head as he tried to pour some more into it again.

“you’re gonna want that tomorrow,” I said and he put the cork back in the bottle of whiskey and set it down. He looked like he was gonna throw it at Rick as the 2 men locked eyes. They walked alone together to the far side of the room to talk, and I made my way over to Tara.

“Question, Tara. Do those 2 have a bromance goin’ on or somethin’?” I asked her and she coughed into her glass and had to sit down, laughing so hard she wasn’t able to breath and her face was turning bright red as she gasped for breath. “What? They seem like they got that bromance thing goin’,” I said and Daryl understood what I was talking about and he rubbed his face as I stumbled and fell to the floor, unable to stop laughing as I fell. 

“OK, OK, you’re cut off,” Daryl said and picked me up from the floor and I snuggled into Daryl’s chest as he carried me from the house. "Aw, Daryl, you’re such a gentleman, walking me home,” I said in his ear and he just grunted, and I started to tease him as I rubbed his hair and tugged on his ear with my teeth, something I knew he loved. It worked and he had to hurry back to his house with the erection already pushing against his pants.

“Yay, points for me!” I said drunkenly as he set me in a chair in his house and I looked at his erection. Daryl just shook his head and climbed in the chair with me, and ran his fingers through my hair; my giggling slowly calmed down as his fingers ran down the back of my neck, playing with my lips, ears, upper back and arms. His fingers interlaced with mine and he kissed my upper back, slowly pulling down the shoulders of my shirt. I felt like I sobered up real quick as he touched me and I could tell he was trying not to cry as he shook behind me, and I turned around, clumsily, straddling him as I looked into his eyes. “Daryl…” I said, but I wasn’t sure what to say. My pain would be over soon, I could feel it, soon as I made it back to the sanctuary, but hell would just be starting for him.

“Why,” was all he managed to get out and I put his head under my chin and held him tight to me. “This world sucks, but I got to know you, for whatever time we had together, and it was the best time I’ve had since the world went to shit. I never thought I could be happy again, to feel anything again, certainly not under Negan’s thumb, but you made me happy,” I said to him, my voice carrying a little louder than I wanted, still in a slightly drunk stupor. 

He wrapped his arms around my waist as I straddled him tighter and he buried his head in my chest, then stuck out his tongue and licked the space between my breasts and let out a faint moan. His hands rested on the tops of my hips and he just let his mouth hang there, on my chest, feeling my heartbeat through his mouth and fingers, and I smelt him in his hair, gasoline, campfire and wet leaves, and I could feel him crying into my chest as he pulled me as close to him as he could. I held him as tight as I could, wrapping my legs around his body in the large chair, enjoying how his wide shoulders and body fit perfecting into mine.

Outside, almost everyone had followed them home, curious, because Daryl had never shown interest in anyone before, barely showing anything for Carol. But here he was, sitting in a chair, his arms wrapped around a woman he barely knew, crying. They heard her mention Negan and everyone looked at Rick as they heard it and he said quietly, “that’s Aura, the girl Negan’s looking for. She says Negan wants her out of the way,” Rick said quietly and watched as Daryl seemed to fall apart in the chair, his body shaking and holding onto the woman as if he was going to fall into an abyss if he let her go. Tears started to fall among those watching, because even though she was a member of the saviors, there was no doubt that she was important to Daryl, and he never really cared for anyone as much as he seemed to care for her right now.

“We have an audience,” I said quietly to Daryl and pulled him out of the chair and we slowly made our way upstairs, Daryl catching me as I almost fell backwards on my way up. Normally, I would’ve laughed myself silly at that, but I didn’t feel like it. I wanted to feel Daryl, really feel him, one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The last part was hard for me to write, because it was so emotional. Comments are welcomed. Luv4uall!


	10. Wanting All of Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aura say goodbye to one another, in the best way they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and smut ahead, like, really in-depth and detailed smut.

We walked into his bedroom and he wrapped his arms around me so tight, I had a hard time breathing and was losing the feeling in my fingers. He finally pulled away from me as he looked down at me, his gorgeous, blue-gray eyes glistening and a little red. His hands ran down my face and cheeks, and I could tell I was crying too as I looked up at him. I wiped his face and joked, “you’re losing that tough-guy look with those eyes of yours,” and he put his forehead to mine. He couldn’t be a tough guy around me right now, not tonight. I leaned up and kissed his cheek, then I kissed his forehead, then I kissed his lips. We hadn’t kissed much, we just fucked, but I needed to feel every part of him before we parted.

To my surprise, his hands gripped the back of my neck hard, his hands in my hair and he kissed me back, hard and intense. I opened my mouth in a faint moan and his tongue found mine, and they had a wrestling match inside my mouth. His tongue fought for dominance over mine and I let him have it, I let him have total control. He pulled me tighter to his body and I could feel how much he wanted me, how much he needed me as his cock twitched in his pants, rubbing against my hip. One hand still held my mouth captive, the other slid down my side, grabbing at the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, slowly, staring at and touching every bit of skin my shirt revealed as he pulled it off. I enjoyed his touch, enjoyed his warmth and I slowly pulled his shirt off to, feeling his muscle, his scars, his heat and warmth. I didn’t ever want to lose that feeling I had as he stared down at me, eyeing me like I was a rare, priceless and beautiful work of art. It melted me as he stared me down, and I found myself back up until my legs hit the bed.

Daryl followed me, strutting as he walked to me and I smirked: he still had that swagger in his step, even now and it was unbelievably sexy, his muscles moving as he walked. I quivered a bit as he towered over me, about 2 feet taller than me as I sat on the bed. He smirked at me again and slowly climbed on the bed, then suddenly bit my neck, his arms wrapping behind me and keeping me in place. I gasped at the sudden wonderful feeling, it was like he knew that was my spot, the one that would make me crazy with barely a touch. His tongue grazed over the bite and I knew it would bruise; I smirked as I thought about Negan seeing all the hickeys. Daryl’s hand played with the clasp of my bra, slowly, and one by one, he undid the little hooks, and slowly pulled it from my body. He stood back, as if admiring a painting and tossed the bra to the side and looked me over, and slowly pulled himself to me with his arms wrapped around me tight, and he bit my neck again. I let out a moan again, and rubbed my leg against his straining cock, and a grunt came from his mouth as it latched to my neck again.

Daryl moved from my neck to my chest, and slowly licked every surface of my chest, from end to another, gently pinching and biting my nipples as he moved. My breath kept catching in my chest as he did this, and his hands slowly worked their way down as his mouth glued to my chest, playing with the bands of my jeans and I moaned again. As he bit me on the nipple again, I retaliated and bit him on the neck, leaving a large and obvious hickey on his neck for all to see. “Yer gonna pay for that,” he said in his deep, gravelly voice and I felt myself dripping as I thought about what he had in store for our last night together.

We moved slowly up the bed until he was completely straddling me, his knees on either side of my hips and I looked up at him, breathless and covered in hickeys and marks. I looked down at the bump straining in his pants and looked back up at him, wanting one more thing before we parted. 

“Daryl, there’s something I want you to do,” I said and he looked nervous for a moment. “I want you…I need you to cum inside me. Will you?” I said breathlessly as he looked down at me. He stared at me for a moment, then leaned in, buried his face in my neck and I could tell he was smiling as he did. 

“Ya didn’t even need ta ask.” He slowly undid the buttons on my jeans and pulled them off agonizingly slow, and he stared at the pretty underwear I had; It matched my bra. I had wanted something special for this night, something that was memorable, and I could tell he was very pleased at the coordination. He kissed up my legs, starting on the left side, working up to my inner thigh, and I quivered as his breath hit my underwear and the wetness that was soaking through it. Then he started with the right leg and I moaned a little angrily at the loss of his warmth.

“Patience, Aura,” he said and I was surprised he called me that. He normally just called me ‘girl’ but my thoughts were cut short as he reached my inner thigh again and he stopped, his hand hovering over my heat, then rested carefully on my underwear, and I immediately let out a long, low moan. “All that, just for me,” he breathed on my leg as he pulled the underwear aside and looked at me. I quivered and shook as I felt his eyes on me and he slowly pulled off the underwear too and looked down at me, now completely naked. I saw the injustice of this and leaned up to undo his own pants, but he pulled my hands from his, told me to not move at all, and he slowly undid his pants himself. His sizable girth sprang out of his pants like a man gasping for air after being underwater for a long time, and I felt the excitement shoot through me again. He slowly got closer, his muscles all moving beautifully as he crawled up to me, leaning and towering over me, and I was begging him with my eyes and body. Daryl just smirked. He quickly licked his finger and shoved it inside me hard and fast. I screamed as my walls clenched around him. 

“Wow, you were all wound up from that?” Daryl said and I gasped, slowly coming down as I stopped twitching and he smirked at me, leaning forward a little bit and started to move his fingers.

I couldn’t hold still as he moved just that one finger inside me, and I had trouble breathing, gasping for air, every nerve in my body on overdrive. “I told you to hold still,” Daryl said as he used one hand to pin me down by my neck gently, his nails digging into the soft flesh of my neck, leaving more marks. 

“C’mon, one more time,” he said in his deep, country growl and I felt that familiar coiling in my stomach, every nerve begging for release. then he hit that little button inside me and I screamed again, writhing under him as I exploded once more, a smug look on his face as I twitched and breathed hard and heavy and deep as I slowly came down. 

He leaned down onto me, lining his girth with me entrance and smirked as he looked me in the face, then whispered in my ear, “ya aint gonna walk tomorrow.” I moaned as his breath hit my ear, then screamed again as he slowly pushed himself into me, like it was my very first time. He grunted every time he moved inside me more, pushing in inch by wonderful, rough inch and I couldn’t breathe the entire time; his eyes never left mine as he gripped my shoulder to push himself in deeper and deeper, until he was balls deep and he lay there. I took in a deep breath and he smirked at me again, he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

Then he pulled out all the way, and shoved himself in me as hard as he could with a loud grunt; I opened my mouth in a silent scream, but nothing came out. Everything shook, everything was oversensitive and I saw stars and bright lights as my walls clenched around him hard and he gripped my shoulders hard, leaving bruises. I came so hard I forced him out of me, almost all the way, but he didn’t miss a beat and pushed into me again, slower this time, and he started a slow, almost torturous pace. I loved the feeling of his skin touching against mine, his hands tight on my bruised shoulders, the stare he gave me, and I knew he was about to start something.

He positioned himself a little bit differently, and moved my legs so they were almost over his shoulders, and he was in me as far as he could possibly go; he smirked down at me again, then started a very fast, very deep, pace. Every move felt like a shockwave running through me, every time he was in all the way I could feel his balls hitting my body, and it didn’t take long for my body to coil up again. “that’s right, again,” he said and as if on cue my walls clenched around his girth and I fell back, every nerve, every fiber of my being, every cell sending shockwaves through me. I had never felt like this before, I was completely drained, I didn’t know how much more I could take, and yet I wanted more.

“Oh, shit,” Daryl said as his pace became erratic and I knew he was close as I felt that coil in my body again. I pulled his head to mine and said, “together.” He looked down at me and I nodded to him, and his pace got even faster and faster, his breathing getting uneven. The coil was ready to let go and I gripped his shoulders, telling him I was almost there, I was almost ready, but he wasn’t quite there yet. I clenched my walls around him, tightening every time he pulled out of me and I could hear him responding, feel him responding as he growled loudly in my ear and he pushed into me one final time, deep as he could, and I felt his warm seed filling me. That sent me over the edge and I let every noise and every scream I had been trying to hold back out.

He lay inside me for a while as we both came down from the most intense orgasm either of us had ever experienced. After what seemed like just a few short minutes, but was more like an hour. He slowly pulled out from me and stared as his cum slowly leaked from my body. He looked at me like it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

“Wow. I thought…fucking someone…into a mattress…was just an expression,” I said, breathily as I gasped between every few words and Daryl let out a faint laugh as he wrapped his arms around me again. I couldn’t move from the spot I was in, I could barely keep my eyes open as he kissed me on the neck, then touched the hickeys on my shoulders and I once again smirked at how Negan would react to seeing them. I had bruises on my thighs and pelvis too, and even though they were supposed to hurt, they hurt in a good way; my entire body was aching in a good way, a satisfied way. As Daryl’s cum slowly dripped from inside me down my thigh and onto the sheets, he stared at it some more, like he was in awe. “Fuck, ‘ts the best thin’ I’ve ever seen,” he said as I gave him a look after he’d been staring for a long time.

“Well, we can do one more in the morning,” I said and he looked at me again, a faint smile crossing his face. “I plan to. I told ya, ya aint walkin’ anywhere tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I was trying not to get to emotional while writing this, because I feel so bad for Daryl. But it all makes sense later. Comments and feedback are appreciated. Luv4uall!


	11. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day the Saviors come to collect Aura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare to feel very bad for Daryl.

Daryl lay awake for hours that night, his arm around the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She was smart, resourceful, and cared about other people more than she cared about herself. That was rare, even before the world went to shit; he brushed some hair from her peaceful face as she slept and wondered why everything had to be so damn hard in this world. He finally found someone, someone he liked and could see himself with for a long time, longer than he was with any other woman before, and tomorrow she would be gone forever. He fought back the tears and emotions that he’d never really felt before and looked down at her, and put his mouth onto her neck, licking and sucking so gently, she didn’t wake up, but he intended to let Negan know just who she belonged to.

The next morning, I woke up and my legs felt like jelly as I tried to get to the bathroom; Daryl was already awake and had an accomplished and smug look on his face as he saw me struggle a little bit. I rubbed my head as I walked to the bathroom and slowly got into the shower.

I heard him come in after me, and I felt his hands snake around my waist. I could tell he was trying not to cry again, and I felt my own tears falling down my face. Today was the last day that we would ever see one another. It had been one hell of a ride, I had to admit to myself, as I held Daryl’s hands to my body and he sucked on my neck, leaving as many marks as he could on me. I knew he was trying to tell Negan just who I was with, and rebel against the leather-clad tyrant in his own way.

As the warm water fell down our bodies and I enjoyed him being next to me, I heard the sounds of cars approaching and I knew it was time. “dammit,” I said as I heard Rick talking with someone, arguing about me. Daryl refused to let me go as I tried to leave the shower and put on some clothes. I turned to him, tears falling down my face and pulled his own face close to me, pulling him in for one, long intense kiss. His fingers traced my back, enjoying me for one last moment before someone knocked on the door, and I heard a familiar voice as Simon called out to me. “Aura, ya in there?” he called out and I slowly looked away from Daryl, pulled on my clothes and left him in the bathroom; it was by far the hardest thing I had done in my entire life.

I walked down the stairs, holding my head as Simon pounded on the door of the house and I nearly tripped down the stairs, spots and stars in my eyes as I looked into the bright light of the day and saw Simon standing there, looking at me like he’d seen a ghost. And he probably had, considering I was sure they all thought I was dead.

“I thought he was shitting us,” Simon said to me as opened the door and stepped out into the cold and bright sunlight, shading my eyes as the hangover hit me all at once. Please stop talking, was all I could think but I couldn’t say anything as my mouth felt like I had cotton in it and nothing was making sense as I stumbled down the stairs and almost fell into Simon. He caught me and pulled me to my feet and he sniffed me, making me back away from him with a look. “you’re shitfaced,” he said simply and I looked at him with an obvious face.

“If you knew you’re about to die, wouldn’t you get shitfaced?” I asked and ignored him as he started talking, walking instead towards the gates. I spared one last look at Daryl’s house and saw him standing in the window, looking out at me, and he was clearly crying, his face pulling a very pained and intense expression. He pulled himself from the window and I turned away, unsure how I felt about this whole thing. If I rebelled and killed all Negan’s men, Rick and his people would pay the cost, but Daryl and I would be able to leave. No, Daryl wouldn’t leave his people behind, not the people that mattered the most to him, not Rick, not Aaron, all of them. No, I was resigned to my fate. I just wished that it was less painful.

Rick was talking to Dwight and I looked at him, wanting to rush him and attack him right there, but the pounding in my head told me I wouldn’t stand a chance in that fight, not as things swirled around me and I barely was able to sit in the back of the truck, just another thing taken from another community. I looked at the ground, feeling odd, like I was floating on air, almost like an out-of-body experience, the voices of everyone echoing in my head, jumbled together and I wasn’t really able to tell who was talking or what they were saying. 

The truck started back up and I felt the lurch in my body as I realized it would only be a few hours before I was back inside the sanctuary, and made an example of. Oddly, I didn’t really care; it felt odd, considering all I had done to make sure that I was alive for myself and other people, but right now, I was happy on the inside, at least a little bit. I had been able to feel Daryl, short as it was. It was real, it was wonderful, and I had never known something like that before. And it brought me some kind of peace as the truck slowly rolled away, the gate and walls of Alexandria slowly getting smaller.

The ride was quiet as the miles drifted behind us and the sky turned dark with a very early winter’s night, and I thought that it had to be December by now, given how short the days were. My head pounded as I tried to think too much and I gripped it in my hands as we rolled over a large bump and my stomach rebelled and I vomited over the side of the truck. It kept going, though the men in the back were yelling and cursing me as I heaved over and over again. Slowly, the feeling passed and I pulled myself back into the truck and looked at the men, all of whom were staring at me as I looked around.

“What?” I finally asked and they all looked away at the same time, and I suddenly felt nervous and suspicious. Did they know what lay in store for me once I was back at the sanctuary? I didn’t want to think what Negan would do to me once I was back there, and especially with all the hickeys I had on my body, but I couldn’t stop the grin on my face as I thought about what he would look like when he saw them. He wouldn’t be jealous, but he would be indignant, and demand to know who gave them to me, and I wouldn’t tell him shit. It might get Daryl killed, and would die with me as a wonderful, everlasting secret.

As noon came and went, I saw familiar landmarks and knew that my time was running out. I couldn’t escape and run, Rick would lose those 4 weeks, and wouldn’t get far in my hungover state. I could barely focus on my hands as I rubbed them together to get them to warm up. The truck slowed down suddenly and I looked up and saw that the sanctuary was barely a mile away and I knew we had come across a patrol. They looked inside the back of the truck and I met their eyes for a moment, and I saw their mouths open in shock, and a surprising smile crossed their face. I was too unfocused to tell who it was and instead just looked down and away from everyone as they started talking, then I heard the familiar whistles in the trees as lookouts passed info onto the next patrols and the gates were already opening as they came into sight, lit up and a small group had already gathered to watch them come in. taking a deep breath, knowing what lay ahead of me but refusing to let it get me down, or bow before the impending end, I stepped off the truck, head held high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even I feel bad for Daryl, and I know how the story ends. Luv4uall!


	12. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan has a proposition for Aura: take the punishment he has in mind for her and still be free, or rejoin as the doctor but submit to him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains some violence, and a lot of cursing. But, it's Negan.

“Boss, Dwight and Simon are back. And they got Aura,” Jasper said, most of his face no longer puffy and swollen, though his nose would no longer be on center, and would remain looking like it was broken for the rest of his life. After he killed Michael, Negan had beaten him senseless, which was better than the iron or being killed with Lucille. Negan turned around from looking out the window, his hands behind his back and a familiar, taunting grin played on his handsome, rugged face and he picked up Lucille, twirled her once in his gloved hand, and said, “well, let’s fucking welcome her back.”

Jasper fell in pace behind Negan and watched as everyone bowed before him as the group parted, looking down at the ground, but also stealing glances at Aura and Negan nervously. Aura stood, tall, unflinching as Negan approached her; he stood before her, Lucille still over his shoulder and suddenly everyone wondered if they would see her get murdered right here. Negan stood before Aura for a moment staring her down, Aura’s eyes not leaving Negan’s; a loud smack echoed through the compound and Aura caught herself as Negan backhanded her, not letting herself fall over, not even flinching as her cheek glared an angry red and her nose slowly started to bleed. Everyone watched in fear, then Negan looked at her, his snarl replaced once again by his wide grin and said, “look at you, coming back after all this fucking time away. I thought you’d left us for good. Now, come the fuck inside. We’ve got a lot of fucking catching up to do.”

Aura was led by Jasper and Simon, one each grabbing her arm as she snarled at Negan, but still walked with her head held high and pulled herself form their grips, able to walk herself to her own death. She wiped the blood on the back of her hand and ignored the pain in her face as she followed Negan. She was sure that they would stop at the platform where public executions and punishments were held, but instead Negan led her up the many flights of stairs to his office. He opened the door, walked in himself, then was followed by Aura as she was pushed in by Simon and Jasper.

“Finish unloading the fucking supplies. Aura and I need to fucking talk, alone,” he said in a deep, and rather sinister voice as he looked from Aura to his men and they looked concerned, then slowly walked away from the office and the door snapped shut. Negan walked over to the door and locked it. Aura held her ground, her fists clenched; Negan slowly turned to her and looked at her, a large, dark grin on his face as he towered over her, about half a foot taller than her, but she refused to look away or back down.

“I’ve put up with a lot of shit from these fucking people of yours, Aura. Suicides, hints of a fucking rebellion in the air, it’s been a fuckton of work keeping everyone under control. You weren’t even fucking here, and you managed to fuck up a lot of my shit. Now, I would love to burn that fucking pretty face of yours, or even better put an end to all this shit, but I made a promise to my people. And I keep my fucking promises.”

Negan had gotten very close to Aura, his face barely an inch from hers, his smile leering at her and his voice getting deeper and more intense, but Aura refused to look away, even as spit landed on her swollen and still red cheek. His fingers ran over the redness and faint swelling of her cheek and wiped away the spit from her face. She refused to budge, but she felt fear as he smiled down at her and she realized he was half-hard and looking at her in a very uncomfortable way.

“So, here’s the fucking deal. You can take all the punishments I have planned for you. You’ll lose your fucking privileges as the doctor, and you’ll never see the light outside this compound again. I have the iron already plugged in, ready for you, and I would love to press it to that fucking gorgeous face of yours, to make you fucking feel all the shit you left behind.” Negan was staring her down, and she was staring right back, but was made aware that he was slowly pushing her back towards the wall, pushing her into a corner with no way out.

“Or, you can come the fuck back. But there are more fucking rules. And what I say will always go. No more of that bullshit talkback, no sass, and you will bow for me in front of everyone on that platform. You will show them that I am the one in fucking charge here. Don’t give me that fucking face,” Negan said as Aura glared at him with a ‘go fuck yourself’ face. “You told me, very specifically, not to come back if I didn’t have enough shit after that run. Not only did I not have that shit, but I lost Ryan and Michelle. I was just taking you at your word,” Aura said in a very harsh and angry voice.

She was pushed back against the wall, hard, and her throat was closed off as Negan pressed his large hand into her windpipe, lifting her off her feet and slightly into the air. Aura grasped at his hands, trying to free herself, but with the hangover and his surprising strength, she hadn’t freed her neck and was starting to see spots and bright lights. Negan let her neck go and she slid to her feet, wobbly as she coughed and tried to catch her breath back, glaring at him with all the hatred she could muster.

“Now, as I was fucking saying before you rudely interrupted me,” Negan resumed like nothing had happened, like her nearly going unconscious during his deal was more like someone coughing in the middle of a theatre, almost a joke. “I made a promise to my fucking people. So, you can come back and be the doctor. Hell, I’ll even let you leave the sanctuary on collection runs and check on the fuckers we collect from. But no shit from you. You will do whatever the fuck I say, every fucking moment of every fucking day; you will fucking obey me, and only me. If I tell you to shut the fuck up, you shut the fuck up. If I tell you to fucking talk to me, you tell me whatever the hell I want to know. And every time I walk into the room, I don’t give a fuck if you’re tits deep in a patient, you will submit to me.”

Aura stared hard at the man before her, lowering her hand from her aching throat and looking at him, pondering his offer. If she said no, she could still openly hate Negan, something that made her, her. She could still be the person that people liked, looked to, the person that everyone knew as the main anti-Negan, and everyone that supported her. But she would get half her face melted off, and lose her place as the doctor, and probably get stuck scrubbing toilets the rest of her life in this place. And if she tried to leave, she knew someone would shoot her, or Negan would execute her. But her rebellion, everything that people looked to her for, the hope she gave them and the way they looked to her as the only thing to save them from the wrath and insanity that was Negan, she would still have that, and might one day finally lead them against Negan and topple him. Or she might get a lot of people killed in the process, then be publicly executed by Lucille.

Or, she could become the doctor again and help everyone in that way, a way she loved and they needed. Btu she would never again be able to rebel against Negan, never backtalk him, and essentially lose who she was as a person: a source of inspiration for the people that looked up to her, the one thing that let them feel safe that Negan never really has complete power. Negan would even let her look in on other places, other communities, and she was sure that it was an attempt to placate her. And that also got her thinking; Negan never compromised, but he was willing to do it to make sure she would bend for him. A faint smile played on her face as she thought about that.

“Oh, and one more fucking thing. If you do decide to come the fuck back as our doctor, you will have to one fucking thing for me. You will become one of my wives. Oh, don’t fucking look at me like that, Aura. You’ll still be the doctor, but points won’t matter, and you’ll never be with anyone else, ever. You’ll be my wife, and you’ll let me fuck you whenever I want; you’ll give me whatever kinky fucking stuff I want. Don’t fucking look at me like that, you little shit,” Negan said and pinned Aura again to the wall, but not lifting her up, and was much gentler this time. His thumb ran over her throat, looking at the bruises he left on her neck, most of them covering the hickeys Daryl had left behind.

“I can’t fucking believe I actually fucking missed you,” he growled into her ear and then bit the top of her ear, as if trying to get her to make a favorable noise; instead all he got was rage as she punched into his chest and his arms, making them tingly as he lost feeling in them for a moment. 

“Fuck you, Negan,” Aura finally growled and her grabbed her neck hard again, her feet once more dangling in the air, kicking out at him as she struggled to breathe. “That’s the deal, Aura. Take it or leave it. Get the fucking iron to your face and lose your spot, work for shit points the rest of your pathetic fucking life. Or you can fucking be with me, and be that doctor the fucking people seem to love so fucking much. So, what the fuck’s it going to be?” Negan snarled at her, his hand still on her neck, her eyes slowly losing the color and black creeping in the edges of her vision. She wouldn’t answer him out of desperation for her body to breathe. Hell, if it killed her, she might be grateful. And the people would be so beyond pissed if they found out. The black was in every part of her vision, her ears were ringing, and nothing made sense as everything went foggy, then nothing.

Negan waited, holding Aura up against the wall, her neck struggling for breath under his fingers and he felt the power of his hand as she tried to breathe, tried to get free from him. He waited, he knew she would pass out soon if she didn’t answer him. Hell, she might die, but what the fuck would it matter. 

“Well?” Negan said as her face became blue and she just snarled at him harder, her eyes out of focus, then her hands dropped to her sides and she stopped struggling. Negan let her go in a flash and felt for her pulse as she slid down the wall, unconscious. He thought she was faking it for a moment, to get him close to attack him; but when he was face to face with her and she wasn’t moving, he pulled her from the wall and breathed into her mouth. Her mouth gasped for air, her heart was racing and Negan actually shitting himself that he killed her. All his work would be for nothing if she died here in his office. And he would miss her, annoying shit she was.

Aura’s vision slowly returned and she coughed hard, her throat sore and her body aching form lack of air as she looked up at the towering figure of Negan. He bent down to look at her, a mix of concern and anger on his face. “believe it or not, I don’t like doing this shit to you, Aura. But the longer you fucking resist me, the worse it’ll fucking get. And since you can’t take a fucking compliment, I think you need a fucking night to come to your fucking senses.” 

Negan picked Aura up by her shoulder, and she was still wobbly from the lack of air, but quickly straightened herself as she glared up at him. He walked her from his office to the stairs, down all the flights to the basement, and unlocked a large metal door that once was used as storage. The lights were dim, annoying and flashing randomly, revealing a cold, wet room that looked like rats called it home. No mattress, no toilet, nothing but cold, wet concrete walls that leaked water slowly onto the floor. “I think a night in here will help fucking clear things up for you. Tomorrow, I will bring your ass to the platform in front of the entire sanctuary. And I expect a fucking answer,” Negan final said as he pushed Aura into the small, cold rom and slammed the door behind her.

Aura sat on the only outcropping in the room a small ledge on the backside of the wall and felt cold water running down her back, soaking her clothes. She thought about what Negan had proposed to her, the compromises she would need to make if she chose to be on his side, or the punishments she would endure if she stayed on her own side. There was no way for her to escape anymore, no place for her to run. She would need to make a choice, and she needed to make one before the sun rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, with the proposition in mind, what do you think Aura will choose? What do you think she should choose? I haven't written the decision part of this yet, so I'm not sure. I'm leaning towards one, but I have ideas for both options. Luv4uall!


	13. Details of a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Details of the 2 choices are laid out more clearly, but we also see a side of Negan that one his late wife, Lucille, ever got to see. Negan reveals he has a thing for Aura, but he likes his power more. And in front of the entire compound, on a grand stage, Negan asks Aura for her response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very faint non-con moments, so maybe a trigger warning? Negan may seem OOC, but it fits his personality of being someone else when no one is looking, and being as the control freak that he is. It makes sense later. This chapter is a lot longer than past ones.

Negan sat in his office, looking at the indent in the wall where Aura’s head had hit it, and he felt anger at himself for letting that little bitch get to him. He shouldn’t let her get into his head, but for some reason, every time she did something, he felt it. He thought about the random kiss almost 2 months ago, how much he actually missed her when she was gone and he thought she was dead. But she was alive, and now she was a threat not only to his power, but to him. He just needed her to say yes. 

He punched the wall where the indent was had looked at it, feeling even more angry with himself. He hated not being in control. It felt like waiting for someone to tell him yes or no to the prom, but on a life or death scale. Unable to handle the anger and tension anymore, he went to one of his wives’ rooms, opened the door and woke her up to fuck her brains out. As she writhed under him, screaming his name, begging him to not stop, he thought what Aura would sound like screaming his name. the thought made him cum.

After he was done, he got up and left wife #6, heading back to his own office and sat at his desk, looking over papers, but his mind was completely fucked. He removed all his clothing, trying to get some relief, but all he could think about was if Aura said no. she would embarrass him on stage, in front of the entire compound, and the people that were against him, or didn’t like him, or even anyone that didn’t like how he led, they would be spurned on by her simple word. He could have a full-blown riot on his hands. 

Negan curled into his bed, trying not to think about Aura, and what she might have to say tomorrow, but he was failing miserably. He looked to his left, the empty part of the bed where his wife, Lucille had always been before she passed. He imagined her body, her warmth, her face right where it was for so many years. Then it suddenly changed.

Aura’s face had replaced Lucille’s, her intense green eyes looking at him, a smile on her face as she laid her head on his outstretched arm and snuggled close to him. Negan shook himself from his thoughts, threw on his clothes, pulled several things from his drawer and marched down the steps to where Aura was being held.

Aura could hear the footsteps from a staircase away, and knew it was Negan. What the hell did he want now? The door flung open as soon as the lock clicked and Negan stood there. Oddly enough, Lucille wasn’t over his shoulder; he looked conflicted, between angry, upset and tired, it was an odd combination and one that Aura hadn’t seen on him before. He stepped into the room, and pulled out what looked like rope from his back pocket and Aura instantly tried to fight him, but slipped in the cold, wet, icing water on the floor and was caught by Negan. He quickly gaged her, putting one of his scarfs into her mouth and tying it behind her head, then tied her hands behind her back, wrapping the rope around her sides, keeping her arms tight to her back and barely allowing her room to move at all.

“Make any move to get free, make any noise, and I will cut out your fucking tongue,” he said in an intense, dark and terrifying tone and Aura decided it was best to keep quiet. He picked her up bridal style and carried her up the steps to his office, then through to his bedroom. Aura tried to get her arms in a more comfortable position, but Negan glared at her. He tied her to a chair in his room, then went into his bathroom and started the water, so hot Aura could see the steam billowing out. He came back out, naked, but oddly not hard at all; Aura struggled against her bonds, then Negan picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, cutting her clothes form her body, leaving the ropes on. He pulled her into the tub with him and she yelped into the scarf at the sudden difference in temperature, after being freezing for hours. 

Negan pulled her to his chest and rubbed her back and got her warm with the water, washing off the filth that room had gotten on her in a short span of a few hours. She didn’t struggle, but was terrified, though she refused to show it. He ran his cloth over her back, enjoying the feeling of being this close to her and her not sending scathing remarks his way. He suddenly got out, dried off then pulled her out of the tub too. He wrapped a robe around her body, touching her everywhere, despite her trying to pull away. Aura tried to get away from him as he pulled her to his bare chest and hardening erection, but wasn’t able to move more than her feet. He picked her up again and brought her back into his bedroom, putting her on the left side of the bed, tying her ropes in front of her, but tying her legs and arms together, so she could barely move at all.

“You know, you should be fucking honored. None of my wives have been in my bed. Hell, they barely get to come into my fucking office. But you, you are special. I missed you while you were gone. Every time I fucked into one of my wives, I thought it was you. And fuck, imagining your voice, screaming my fucking name, well fuck,” Negan said and Aura could see the rising tent in the sheets of the bed as the man talked. Aura was trying to wiggle away from him, but was failing as he pulled her back to him. His hands wrapped around her tight, and he looked down at her, a smile on his face.

“Say yes, and you’ll sleep here every night. You’ll be my favorite wife, not like those lazy motherfuckers that paint their nails all day,” he said to her, like that was the deal-maker, like that would be the thing to affect her the most and change her mind to be with him and take shit from him. Aura huffed into the scarf in her mouth; Negan’s smile disappeared very fast, and he was suddenly towering over her, his hands pinning her to the mattress and she closed her body to be as tight as possible, not letting him get inside her. “don’t be like that, sweetheart. You know I fucking hate rape. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want. But I want to fucking feel you under me, feel your thighs around my body, feel everything pulsing around my cock as it pounds into you. And you’ll fucking love it,” Negan was talking to her, and wrapping one of his large hands around his even larger cock and Aura was glaring hard at him. 

“Indulge me, sweetheart,” he said and his head tilted back hard and spurted cum on Aura as she looked away, not wanting to look at him. “see how fucking hard you make me?” Negan was smiling again, and got up and brought out a wet towel and cleaned off Aura as she glared at him, the scarf still in her mouth. He suddenly looked at her, pulling her face to be less than an inch from his and he was mad at her.

“I hate not being in control, Aura. A fucking blind man can fucking see that. And you make me fucking lose control,” he said and suddenly pushed her face away hard, refusing to look at her now as she snarled at him through the scarf. He got back onto the bed, and pulled her hard to his chest, the ropes burning into her wrists, arms and legs, starting to leave angry red marks as she tried to get away from Negan.

“I also fucking hate being denied, almost as much as I hate rape. Keep fighting me, and I will lose my control,” he said into her ear and Aura suddenly stopped moving. He seriously just threatened to rape her. She turned to face him, her eyes burning with rage, but found that his face was calm, almost sad. Her eyes lost their burning anger as she looked at him and for a moment felt bad for him as his hand slowly touched her cheek, then gently pulled out the scarf in her mouth.  
“All the fucking times I thought about you in my fucking bed, this is not how I wanted it to fucking start,” he said and pulled her tighter to his body, refusing to let her go even as she struggled against him. “you fucking belong here, in this big ass bed, with me. You belong in that medical center, treating every fucking splinter and bullet wound and case of fucking sniffles. You belong to those people that mean so much to us,” Negan said and Aura suddenly stopped fighting him. Was he faking, or did he just let it slip that those people meant something to him too. 

Aura was thinking, trying to put everything together. Negan seemed to think that everyone was beneath him, not worthy of him. Never seemed to care when someone was hurt or left behind, he would even get pissed when someone died and Aura had used some medical supplies on them. Was it a front, or was he faking it now? Aura was thinking so long and hard, that the sky was starting to lighten and she could hear the faint snoring of Negan behind her. But it wasn’t long he was snoring, because the sun came into the window and hit him in the face, waking him up.

He pulled her off the bed, untied her and looked at her like she might try to run, but her body was so stiff and painful she almost collapsed onto the floor. Her legs wobbled and moved painfully as Negan got dressed, threw some clothes at her, then told her to get dressed. She could barely move her arms and legs from being tied in one position for hours. Negan waited for her, a smile coming across his lips as she tried to get her pants on and fell over, catching herself against the bed. He picked up Lucille as she finally put some clothes on and stared her down.

Aura refused to answer him. She wasn’t even sure she had an answer for him right now. Last night had either been one hell of an act, or a glimpse into the man he was under his salt and pepper beard, constant scowl and sociopathic tendencies. Aura knew that her options were limited, and to be honest, the first option, the ‘no’ option was sounding better, despite the injuries she would incur. She would rebel against Negan, piss him off and keep the people on her side, and maybe the injury on her face would make them finally snap and attack. But that was also the selfish option. 

The ‘yes’ option would basically make her a slave to Negan, there was no other way around it, she would become his slave, in every possible way. Never talking back, never denying him what he wanted, and never really be free again. But she would be helping the people more. So, would she take her own path, be herself and lead an uprising that could go very badly with the massive scar on her face, but end Negan once and for all? Or would she take the other route and submit to Negan, give in to him, and give up herself for the sake of the people that needed her?

The platform was already surrounded with people as Negan led Aura to the top of it, up the steps, her legs still not wanting to move after last night, but she held her head high. She looked steely, her eyes not leaving Negan’s as they stared on another down. Then Simon and jasper joined them on the stage and stood behind her, not letting her move in any direction as Negan finally started to speak.

“Well, look who the fuck decided to return to us. You all fucking wanted her back, but after all the shit that happened because of her, I can’t just fucking forgive and forget. So, she has a choice: take her punishment, and never help anyone as a doctor again. She’ll scrub fucking toilets the rest of her fucking life, knowing how much she fucking let you all down. Or, she can be the doctor again, but no more of her usual shit. And she’ll be wife lucky number 7.” Negan turned to look at Jasper, who left Aura’s side, who was still stone faced, her eyes unwavering, her face unreadable, her fists clenched at her sides. Jasper returned with the chair that the iron punishment was given in and he also had the iron in his other hand. Aura made no motion to show she saw them there. But the people were talking now, and a few people audibly gasped.

Negan knew that if Aura took the punishment, she would never submit to him, and he could very well face a very angry crowd of onlookers. He hated not knowing what she was thinking, what she was planning, what option she was facing. But he turned theatrically to the entire compound, showing the hot iron in his hand and the chair next to him, and he completely expected to use them in a few minutes. He finally turned to Aura, who was still staring at him with a blank, expressionless face. He got next to her, standing so close that she could feel the heat of the iron against her clothed body.  
Negan said loudly for everyone to hear, “well, what will it fucking be?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which path to choose? Honestly, I haven't chosen an option yet. I might out a chapter for both options then pick the one I think works best. Not sure yet. Sorry for the sporadic updates, I tend to write a few chapters at a time as it all comes to me, then suffer some kind of writer's block. Comments and suggestions are appreciated. Luv4uall!


	14. The Start of Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something interrupts the judgement of Aura, and she suddenly finds herself with a new and much more important choice to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, I was having some really bad writer's block on this work. Thank you Smd00 for the suggestion!

I stood still, staring at Negan, my fists clenched as he sneered at me with his standard swagger and I found myself snarling at him. No way in hell I would be his wife, not when my own heart was long gone, back in Alexandria. If he’d left that part out, it would be easier for me to say yes. Negan’s smile faded as I refused to move, refused to bow down, and the crowd was getting nervous. Would Negan really burn her face if she refused to bow for him?

Negan walked closer to me, leaning down, the smirk still on his face but I heard the faint worry in his voice, one that was almost mistaken for kindness and concern. Almost. “Don’t make me do this,” he said in a very low and dangerous voice and I looked back at him, eyes narrowed, and said through gritted teeth, “I’m not making you do anything.”

Negan pulled back from me, and I could feel the heat from the iron radiating near me a she moved it towards me, threatening me, hoping I would yield. I clenched my fists tighter, my teeth bared as I gave him a very dangerous look and I thought I saw a moment of hesitation in his eyes.  
I smirked at him, refusing to give in to him. He sighed and motioned for Simon and Dwight to move me to the chair, but I pulled my hands from them and walked myself over, taking a few slow steps that seemed to hold a lifetime in them as my boots echoed on the wooden platform.

The scream, a single scream from a little girl, was the first indication that something was wrong. Everyone looked over at her, thinking she wouldn’t be able to watch this, but what they saw had others screaming too. No one had been watching the wall, no one had been watching for walkers or threats, so now both of them were at the fences. What looked like over 300 walkers, led by several dozen men, limped and moaned towards the sanctuary, the men that led them there smiling with a horrid look on their faces, the sneer and smirk of men that knew what was about to happen, and it thrilled them to see the death and carnage.  
I leapt from the stage and ran to another of Negan’s saviors, ralph, and grabbed him to get his attention. “Get the women and children and old inside, lock the doors and get on the 3rd floor or above. And no one opens the doors unless it’s me or Negan. Everyone else, if you can hold and fire a weapon, follow me!” I shouted and as if Negan was invisible, Simon and Dwight ran off the platform, following me to the armory as the sounds of the walkers hitting the chain-link fence echoed through the air.

I felt the thrill of horror go through me as I thought what would happen once the fence fell, but I knew it would. The fence wouldn’t keep out over 300 determined walkers, or the dozens of men that waited in the wings. The fence rattled and groaned as the supports slowly sunk into the ground, then the sound of snapping metal and more screams, as the walkers came over the fallen fence, tripped up over one another as they fell. Ralph was leading everyone that wouldn’t fight into the building, and I heard the door slam shut behind him once he was sure everyone was inside. About 50 remained, mostly men, or young women, and they looked at me as Negan joined the ranks and he looked at me. “Grab a weapon you are comfortable with, and follow Negan!” I shouted and he looked at me. I could tell, even with the threat looming down on us, he was surprised and appreciative. But he was smart, a natural leader, ad good at leading men in battle; and as much as I hated to admit ti to myself, I trusted him to lead in a war.

“Alright, these fuckers came knocking on our door, so let’s show them some real fucking hospitality. Simon, take the front lines, and start fucking bashing in some walker brains. Take 10 with you and keep working them, don’t let yourselves get fucking surrounded. Take all the ladies with you, not you,” he said as he looked at me and I knew what he wanted me to do. I just nodded and headed out through the gates, working my way through the woods, listening for the sounds fo any scouts the attacking men might have.

I found 4 scouts on my way to get to the main group of attacking me, and I killed them all, silent like the hunter I was and in a great deal of rage and bloodlust. As much as I disliked Negan, the sanctuary was where I felt home, where people loved lived. And they needed me to be strong: a leader and a gifted murderer. Each scout I met fell to my blade, mostly stabbing them in the neck or under the ribs to fill their lungs with blood so they couldn’t call for help or alert their fellows. I heard the sounds of the other men, Negan and his own group of men, following me in the woods, though still far behind me. I raced ahead of them, because they were like thundering elephants in a china shop compared to me, and they would give themselves away.

It took some time before I made it to the main group of attacking men, but once I was in sight, I waited for the others to catch up with me. Negan was there first, and I heard him coming from about a hundred yards back, even over the shouting ad jeering of the attackers. Negan knelt beside me ad looked at me, Lucille in one hand, powerful gun in the other. I had my own gun, a bow and arrow, and knife, and I just nodded to Negan. We all readied our guns at the same time, and the sounds of the loading and clicking got the attention of the attackers. They turned their guns on us, though I doubted they could see where we were, since the woods and underbrush was so thick; bullets tore through the bushes and bounced off trees and we all opened fire, my marks being hit more often than the others because I lined up the shot and was more patient. I held back, keeping to the shadows of the trees as the attacking men slowly lost their numbers, and I heard some shouts on our end as our number slowly dwindled too. Dwight cursed as a bullet hit his leg and he started shooting frantically; I pulled him away from the fight, his leg bleeding profusely, and I wrapped my shirt around his leg, aware that I was only wearing a sports bra underneath, but at the moment, I didn’t care. I looked his wound over and was satisfied when I saw it was through and through, and had only hit the muscle. It would hurt like hell, but it wouldn’t cause him to die. I told him to stay in the woods, and I took his larger gun, gave him mine, and headed back into the fray.

Slowly it looked like we were winning, but we were losing men too, and even Negan and I weren’t unscathed. A bullet grazed my arm and I felt the pain of the sudden cut and blood, but ignored it as I kept fighting, not wanting more of our people to die. I heard Negan grunt as something hit him, I wasn’t sure what, but he was bleeding too, flecks of blood in his salt-and pepper beard. The attacking men were losing ground and were slowly being forced to close ranks as we surrounded them, with no place for them to retreat to, no place for them to run. They looked panicked as they saw we were winning and pinning them down, and they started to shoot frantically, congregating into a circle about the size of a football field, as me and my own people pushed them closer together.

Guns were slowly clicking as the ammo we all had was lost, and soon knives, axes, machetes, and Lucille came out, everyone fighting with one another. The attacking men were big, strong and rather slow, so I ran through them, cutting them down, slashing at their throats, stabbing into their ribs, or just cutting them where I could to weaken them. I pulled back from the group when a blade sliced my cheek so deep my tongue could poke out through it, gripping it in pain as the bone had also been nicked and that was the most painful wound I had ever felt. I let the others continue their fight, no letting the attackers pass me so none would get away, none of them would get to live after this, not after what they did. The men were taking out the attackers, one by one, and though it didn’t make me too happy for the murder of them all, I felt a little pride as the younger saviors were proving their worth, and fighting for their people. I slashed a throat as one of the attackers tried to get past me, then heard the faintest groan of pain and looked up, expecting to see someone else injured.

Negan was bleeding profusely, his large hands clutching to his stomach as blood poured from between his fingers. I ran to him, wanting to save him for the people, then wondering if I just let him die, that things would be easier and safer for everyone in the sanctuary, everyone outside the sanctuary too. Negan’s knee hit the ground with a groan, and his attacker was standing over him, a blood ax in his hand, and raised it over his head, ready to strike the final blow. The thoughts played out in my mind in a nanosecond, deciding what I should do: save Negan, or let him die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will she chose? Luv4uall!


	15. Recovery and a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the fight continues, Negan is injured and Aura fights to save him, despite parts of her wanting to let him die, and let someone else rule the Saviors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lines in the text mark changes in POV from first to Negan's to third.

Negan clutched at the deep, penetrating wound into his stomach, angry at himself for letting that scrawny kid get the best of him and get a swing into his stomach with such a small ax. He saw stars, and was starting to see black on the edges of his vision as blood pooled down his leather jacket, dripping to the already red, sticky grass, and the nausea was starting to kick in. he held it down as he looked around for Lucille, trying to find her, but he couldn’t feel or see her anywhere. he had no idea where Lucille was, and he longed for his bat, the hard handle to be in hand as the kid got close again, a smirk on his young face, face smeared with blood as Negan tried to stand up, to fight the kid, but his legs weren’t letting him move. The kid raised the ax as Negan’s vision started to swim, blackness pushing in from all sides of his eyes, so all he could see was the runty kid in front of him, the annoying little prick that would somehow manage to kill him, Negan, the biggest badass in the apocalypse. 

The kid raised the ax in the air. There was a loud rushing sound of something flying through the air, followed by a very loud thunk, a crack and brain matter splattered the ground. A pair of knees hit the ground, blood dripping from a head that looked like an exploded watermelon; a weapon was wrenched from the exploded head, blood and brain matter clinging and dripping from its metal surfaces.

Negan looked up, near passing out, to see Aura standing over the kid, his beloved Lucille in her hands, the bat’s barbed wire stuck in the exploded head of the kid. She put her foot to the kid’s back and yanked out the bat, a squelching noise echoing between them, and everything seemed to move slow. Nothing made a noise, not the other men, not the sounds of the dying and the undead, not even the wind seemed to move as the kid’s body slowly fell forward in a disgusting mess of blood and flesh. Negan looked up as Aura made her way towards him, Lucille still in her hands, blood splattered on her face, a deep cut on her cheek. He lost sight of everything at that moment, and inside, for some odd reason, he felt alright. She had chosen to save his life.

I held the bat in my hand as I ran to catch Negan as he passed out, and looked to Dwight as I felt the stare on me. I turned to him, putting Negan’s unconscious arm over my body and shouted to him, “Keep fighting! Don’t you fucking dare quit!” Dwight returned to the fight with a roar, and the number of attacking men was now less than ten, though our own numbers were down too. 

With strength I didn’t know I had, I yanked Negan over my shoulder and dragged him back to the sanctuary, my feet and legs begging for the weight to be let go, but refused to leave him behind, to let him bleed out and die. With surprising speed I found myself at the sanctuary, the dead still trying to get to the people holed up inside, but was able to slip behind them, up a set of steps to the 3rd floor, where I found it locked and felt both anger and happiness. He actually listened to me.

I pounded on the door with my arm, Negan slipping from my shoulder and back and fell to the floor as someone asked who was there. “it’s Aura! Open up, Negan’s injured,” I shouted through the metal ad the door instantly swung open and I pulled the unconscious Negan through the doorway, past the staring people and towards where the assistants, and a nurse who was new to the sanctuary, had set everything up for the injured. He was already tending to wounds from those that had been hurt fighting the herd, cuts and wounds from friendly fire, and a sprained ankle from tripping, but he dropped everything and cleared an entire table when he saw me, Negan trying to come back to consciousness. I hoped he wouldn’t, because this was about to become very painful.  
I flopped Negan down on the table as they started to clean themselves up and I pulled off my dirty clothes, stripping to my naked form and pulling on a hospital gown before returning to the table. They looked at me, unsure what to do, but I cut off Negan’s clothes, unable to marvel at how good he looked for someone in his 40s. The wound in his abdomen was deep, long and looked like it had cut into the intestines, through the muscles and layers of skin and the little fat there. I pulled every light we had available to me, and one of the helpers held a powerful flashlight over my head and I thanked her with a nod as I pulled the wound open. Negan had not managed to come back, and was still passed out and I was thankful, because I didn’t have any anesthesia, and he couldn’t move. One of the helpers strapped Negan to the table as I looked the wound over and saw that the intestines had been sliced, and he was bleeding badly from a nicked vein. Someone used a simple turkey baster to suck out the blood as I ordered another helper to find everyone with O- blood and bring them in and get a cup of blood from everyone that she could. She nodded and left the room, and I heard her shouting through the closed door as I pulled the intestines around, looking for other damage I might be missing. I used the last of the dissolvable stitches to sew up the vein and slowly, very slowly, the color in Negan’s full lips and handsome features returned. He no longer looked gray and near death, but he was still very pale, clammy and cold. 

I sewed up the sliced intestines, removing a small section because it was easier, and would heal better, than trying to sew up the mangled portion and hope nothing happened as a result. I removed about 6 inches of small intestine, a small amount considering the actually length is about 20 feet, sewed him up as best I could and slowly stepped back from him, as if I expected him to suddenly wake up now that I was done. The helpers came over and started to clean ad dress the wound, and I slowly turned from the table and pulled the curtain back, feeling what had to be the entire sanctuary looking at me, even as some of them looked like they might be sick as they gave blood. The helper came over and handed me the blood she had mange dot get and I thanked her quietly, ad told her to do the transfusion. I needed to check on the fights going on; before I knew it, I was running, the gown flapping away from my naked body, and I looked out the nearest window to see what the fight looked like.

I didn’t need to worry; Dwight ad the men fighting the attackers had returned, so I was assuming that the attackers, every single one, was dead. The number of walkers had fallen to about half the original number, but still a large amount, but it looked like Dwight and Simon had good control over the situation. I told everyone to stay in their place, to not move from the floor, and I hurried back to my room to get some clothes. I threw on what I could find first, which turned out to be an oddly skimpy outfit, but it was all I had time to find and put on. Despite my body starting to tell me I needed some sleep, I ran down the stairs, hearing the door close and lock behind me, and joined the others in the walkers killing spree.

I wasn’t sure how long we killed walkers, but it was something we had done so many times we knew the motions by heart. Everyone had grouped into pairs, watching each other’s back, slowly backing up as the walkers inched closer, keeping their own backs clear in case they needed to run. If the herd had overwhelmed them, they would just run to up the stairs, creating a bottleneck and pick the walkers off that way. But that was a last resort. About 30 men and women remained, myself included and we were skilled fighters. Hit after hit, swing after swing, the dead felt to the ground, never to rise again; blood slung through the air and flesh chunks splattered faces and clothes. The number of dead dwindled, falling from 150 to 120, then to 100, then to 70, then to fewer than the number of people that were fighting. 

As everyone finished off the walkers in front of them, people gasped for air, tired, dirty, covered in blood, but looking satisfied, excited and soon shouts were filling the air. Not angry, scared shouts, but shouts of glory, victory and relief. I felt myself smiling as I joined the whooping and shouting noises and felt eyes pressed to windows as people came to see what the noise was. The sun was starting to set, long shadows being cast on the bloody and smelly ground, but the smiles on everyone’s faces couldn’t be clearer, couldn’t be more relieved. We had won.

Negan faintly heard the sounds of Aura shouting, walkers in the distance, the sounds of occasional gunfire, then doors opening. He tried to bring himself back, to open his eyes, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t open his own fucking eyes, and that pissed him off.  
He floated in blackness, occasionally hearing shouting, mostly Aura, but he was unable to move away from the blackness that closed him in, to find a way out, to go anywhere that looked different than the black emptiness that surrounded him.

He heard very faint shouting and cheers, and almost what sounded like laughter and rejoicing. What the hell was happening while he wasn’t there? He was dully aware of a pain in his abdomen, then saw what looked like a faint flicker of light, and as he got closer to it, he heard talking, familiar voices: Simon, Dwight and Aura were talking to one another, about making sure things were taken care of while he was out. He listened as those 3 talked, making sure to cover all their bases, then heard the sounds of the 2 men leaving. He thought he heard Aura’s breathing as she sat down, and heard her faint wincing; had she been hurt?  
The light was getting bright and more clear, and Negan could hear more and better as he got closer; Aura wasn’t talking loudly, but it sounded like she was talking to herself, more than anyone else. She was mumbling about what needed to be done, repairs, cleaning, burning, burying the dead. He ran for the sounds of her voice, and he could feel his body falling, as if he had just walked off the edge.

Negan’s eyes flickered for a moment, lights on in his face, though the darkness in the rest of the room made it feel like it was nighttime. No one was around him except Aura, who was writing something on a clipboard and paper, mumbling to herself and making notes. A long, dark red mark now marred her lovely face, and it looked like she had stitched it up herself. A wave of pain and ache hit him and he grunted, grinding his teeth to take it like a man and Aura looked up at him. she rose to her feet slowly, putting a hand to her cheek as the movement seemed to hurt it, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t move, Negan. That was a deep slash in your gut; it’s amazing you lived to be operated on at all. I had to remove a small piece of your intestine, and you’ll be bedridden for a few weeks. And don’t give me that look,” Aura said and crossed her arms as he snarled at her. “I know you hate being sidelined, you hate feeling weak, but if you rip your stitches, bleed out or get an infection you won’t be helping anyone ever again. It’ll kill you,” Aura said and he snarled at her, thinking she was threatening him at first.

He leaned back, looking as angry and defeated as she had ever seen him, but she patted his shoulder and he looked at her. “We won, Negan. We beat those assholes, every single one, and all the walkers are dead and being burned. There’s almost 40 people working on repairing the fence and standing guard; it’ll be pieced back together before sunup, then we can work on more permanent repairs. Dwight thinks it’ll take less than a week if we keep on it in shifts from sunup to sundown. Simon’s got everyone on their jobs and is on a run right now, getting the pickups from the Kingdom and Hilltop. We all agreed it shouldn’t look like anything happened to us, or they might take the chance to rebel, and we don’t need any more spilt blood.”

Negan looked at her, shocked; she had always hated taking from other places, and when she was in power, she didn’t change the way he was doing things. “I told the men to go easy on taking things this time around. Winter is coming, and they need shit to survive too. But I told them to clean out all the medical supplies they could. We need them right now,” Aura said and she looked ashamed to be admitting it, but it was true. There were more than 20 inured men and women, some with small wounds and minor sprains, others with wounds like Negan’s, who needed surgery, and some were even worse. 

“Who died?” Negan asked first and Aura sighed. She knew this was coming. “We’re at 11 dead, everyone was injured somehow, and there are 5 I don’t think will live to see sunrise,” Aura said sadly and she felt Negan stiffen up hard, and he looked as angry as Aura felt. Those men had no intention of negotiating; they would kill anyone they wanted, no questions, no talk, and then rape and take all they wanted. Aura could feel the weight of the entire sanctuary, every death, every injury, every broken link in that fallen fence, all on his shoulders. He gripped his stomach, and Aura forced him to lay back, fluffing up his pillow so he wasn’t lying down flat, so they could talk. He was surprised as her caring about him, but that was just who she was. “Negan, we need to talk,” Aura said and he felt something coming, and he knew he wasn’t going to like it, but he didn’t have much choice at the moment, and she had saved his life, twice, when she had all the reason in the world to let him be slashed by the ax, or bleed out from his wounds.

Negan leaned back and watched Aura as she pulled her chair closer to him and she dropped her voice. “I’ll make this fast. I know you won’t give power to anyone else, but you can’t keep carrying everything on your own. You should let Simon take a little bit from you, even it’s just the runs. Ah,” Aura said, raising her hand to stop him from snapping out a biting retort. He stopped and let her finish, and that surprised Aura. “I won’t be your wife, Negan…but I will ease up on the challenges. I remain the doctor, and I will not bow for you, but I won’t challenge you anymore when there are people watching. I’ll wait until we’re alone; and for the winter, we ease up just a little bit on the other places. They won’t survive winter if we keep taking from then like we are. That will put them into panic and fight mode, whether or not they fear you. And we can’t have another war on our hands so soon.” Aura looked at him as she finished talking, and she knew there was one more thing he wanted from her, and it would increase her chances of him following her requests. She hated herself for saying it, but she knew it was for the best, and was the best way to get things moving, to get Negan to compromise.

“And if we do have sex, Negan, no one knows other than you and me. Your wives, Simon, Dwight, anyone from other communities, no one else knows. And when we talk in public, you treat me like the doctor, not a wife.” Aura felt herself a little sick as she thought about it, but it was the best way for him to compromise for her, and it would help everyone else in the long run. It was just what she was willing to do to help as many people as she could in the best way she could.  
“Do we have a deal Negan?” Aura asked, her hand held out for him and he looked hard at her, staring from her face to her hand, looking for the lie in her face, but if he held his end of the bargain, she would hold hers. She just hoped Daryl never found out; it would destroy him, but this was for everyone, even for Daryl. Taking less of his supplies meant he would be better able to survive winter.

Negan stared at her for what felt like hours, looking into her face, a faint smirk playing back on his face and Aura felt he wouldn’t take it, and she should have let him bleed to death on the grass. Then his hand slowly came out from under the covers and blankets, wincing as he moved his body to get at her hand, then he closed his large, calloused fist around her long, dainty outstretched fingers, and shook her hand up and down a few times. He opened his mouth, his voice hoarse from lack of water and exhaustion.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, no cliffhanger. Couldn't do that again so soon. Luv4uall!


	16. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sanctuary and it's people pull things back together, but can't seem to catch a break. Could a group as strong, or stronger, than the saviors be out there?

Negan fell asleep shortly after that conversation, sheer exhaustion and his injuries getting the better of him, despite his annoyance and desire to stay awake and leave the hospital bed. I knew how much he wanted to be out of the medical wing, but there was no way he was leaving this week. He almost died, first on the field and again during surgery, so he was bedridden for several weeks; he’d been back in his own room in about a week, but he wouldn’t leave the sanctuary for several weeks: no runs, no collections, nothing outside the walls while his body tried to heal. I knew how much he’d hate that.

Simon returned later that night from his collection and told Dwight and me what had happened, the looks on everyone’s faces when the saviors had left behind some of their shares. Simon hadn’t given a reason, said it was Negan’s decision, and I was glad he hadn’t old anyone what really happened, but I knew he wasn’t nearly that stupid. Dwight was, but not Simon. Between the 3 of us, we had all the leadership needs covered. I handled the injured and interior issues, while Dwight handled security, walker killing, and runs; Simon was in charge of collection and making sure nothing looked different to the other communities. Thigs were returning to normal inside the sanctuary in a few days as every resumed their normal routines, though everyone was a bit jumpy, and wall security doubled. Simon and I spent a lot to time teaching some of the younger kids, teens really, how to properly shoot a gun and wield a knife, and taught them in the cage to kill walkers both at range and up close. Then I decided that it was time for some self-defense classes, so Dwight and I taught a few basic techniques to either get away and run, or get the upper hand on your opponent for the kill or incapacitation. Dwight was always the guinea pig.

While Negan was in the medical ward, I changed a policy about meals in the sanctuary: everyone got breakfast, but those with low or no points got half portions, but this way at least everyone got something to eat. With winter on the way, we didn’t need a lot of people going hungry, it would allow sickness and disease to spread like wildfire in the tight quarters of the compound. Dwight was all in arms about it, saying Negan made the point system for a reason, but I argued the medical case, and the output case: aside from healthier people being less susceptible to disease that could spread, people that ate something every day like clockwork would be more productive. Dwight thought it would be a chance for some people to slack off, and I knew who he was talking about, but some people worked hard and didn’t have enough points to fed their families, and those people, in tight rooms with lots of people and malnourished bodies would be the catalyst for disease, which was not what we needed. Dwight stalked off, and I knew he was about to complain to Negan, but I had already told him. Negan said it was only for the winter; he knew what would happen if just a few people in the compound got sick, with all the contact people had with one another. Seeing Dwight’s face when he realized that Negan had approved my plan was priceless, the shock, anger and embarrassment on his face made my week.

I helped take inventory of everything we had, everything we got from other communities, ad my heart would ache when I did it, but I knew we needed it; besides, we were taking less than before. Every time I heard Simon come back, I thought about Daryl and Alexandria, and occasionally about Jesus, someone I admired for his skill. Dude was a fucking badass ninja, and I had to respect that; it was also really amazing to watch him fight, like a dangerous dance and I’d find myself mesmerized. Every time Simon came back, I got details on whether or not the other communities were talking with one another, maybe planning something, or trying to figure out what happened with us, but Simon never got that impression.

Simon was on a trip to a smaller community, called the Family, had about 20 people in it, not many but they lived in the forest, and got a lot of meat every time someone went hunting. He was supposed to be gone 3 days; but as day 5 dawned, and Negan was standing up, walking to his room with 2 of his wives supporting his aching body, both he and I knew something was wrong. Against my advice, he was leaving the medical ward and going to recover in his room; I knew he hated a hospital, even a makeshift one, and I didn’t blame him for it. He’d told me once about his wife’s cancer, how she’d spent 2 years in the hospital before the turn as she withered away from the aggressive, inoperable cancer.

With day 5 coming on full steam, and things going smoothly for the compound, I decided it was time to look for Simon and his group that had left. Negan was not happy about me going on my own. “Like fuck you’re going to look for them by yourself!” Negan was shouting and then held his stomach as he lay back on the pillows and I arranged them so he was sitting up. “I can’t take more people away from here, not so soon after we were attacked, we’re too vulnerable. I’ll track them faster on my own, and if something looks wrong, I’ll come back for reinforcements. I’ll be gone 2 days tops,” I argued with him as I looked around his room for where I stashed my smaller gun, the one he took from me the day I arrived. He’d taken it just to spite me. “Bottom drawer,” Negan finally said and I knew he hated that he couldn’t do anything, that he was completely helpless to protect his own people and me, but I never really needed protecting.

“Negan, I’ll be fine. You stay in bed and take it easy while I’m gone, then when I get back, we’ll start on therapy to get your muscles and movement back,” I said and was waiting for it…wait for it… “Sounds like a fan-fucking-tastic time, sweetheart. There gonna be some sweet fucking massage therapy in there, because I know of one bone that’s aching.” yep, there it was. I chuckled at his very poorly hidden innuendo. “that’s more like you, Negan. Glad to see you still got that filthy fucking mouth on you,” I smiled and realized too late I walked into that. “Well this filthy fucking mouth can be on you, too.” There it was again. I shook my head and sighed. “I’ll see you in a few days. Dwight’s sticking around, but he’ll still take your orders if you give them. He’ll be by in an hour or so. That wall’s almost back up.”

I turned from the room and closed the bedroom door behind me, softly, and I heard him get out of bed and put on some music, then the shower started. He hadn’t showered, not since he was stabbed almost 10 days ago, and I knew he was aching to look more like himself, with slicked back hair and neatly trimmed beard. I ran a hand through my own hair and thought about Simon and the handful of men he’d taken with him, wondering how they were and I hoped they were alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of filler, I know, but it sets up the next chapter well. Luv4uall!


	17. Search and Rescue Party of 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura goes looking for Simon and his men and stumbles upon another attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major character death, be warned. Also, brief mentions of non-con, and some torture, but not too detailed. You've been warned.

I met Dwight at the gate and told him to check on Negan in about an hour or so, make sure nothing tore, or hurt himself from trying to hard; Dwight was not happy about me leaving the sanctuary to look for Simon and his men on my own. I ignored his protests and walked out the gate, ready for what lay ahead, and determined to find my friends. As ruthless as we could be, saviors were loyal to one another, because we were, in all intents and purposes, family. And Simon had to be my best friend in the sanctuary. There was no way in hell I was going to lose him, not so soon after losing several of our men and women to that fight. I took a smaller car with me, so I could maneuver better around obstacles, but I was concerned I wouldn’t have enough space for everyone if I found all 5 of them injured.

 

As I drove, my thoughts went back to Daryl, wondering how he was doing, whether or not he’d forgiven rick for turning me in, or forgiven himself. I didn’t blame him in the slightest, but I knew he blamed himself. Once things were settled, I’d go to Alexandria and talk to Daryl; he should at least know I was alive.  
It took me the rest of the day to drive to the community called the Family, and they said that Simon and his people had already come by and taken their share, or part of it. I looked for myself, and saw that Simon had indeed gone with leaving some behind, instead of taking then entire half, he’d leave a little behind, taking maybe 40%, give or take. I knew the people were curious why the saviors were suddenly taking less than the half they had taken for a year and a half; I told them it was Negan’s orders, because winter was coming and he wanted as many people to survive as possible. The leader looked skeptical, but I wasn’t there to chat with him, I left right away and headed back the way I came, looking for signs that maybe Simon had been diverted, taking a side road or maybe been forced from the road.

I stopped a few miles out, and saw what looked like a recently dug hole and pulled to it, then got out and looked it over; someone had buried some large pieces of metal into the road, only enough sticking out to puncture a tire, and it was hard to see. I pulled out my gun and hurried back into my car, determining it was best to head back to the Family and make a plan in their compound, where I was safer than out in the open. I barely made it a few hundred yards when I saw black billowing smoke rising from their compound, and the sounds of screaming, shoots and laughter. I pulled my car over and hid it in the ditch, then ran through the woods, ignoring the stitch in my side as I got nearer to the compound. Their place wasn’t very big, just a few handmade cabins around a large gathering area, but all the buildings were burning and a group of men dressed like those men that attacked the sanctuary, same black bands around their arms and foreheads with the red infinity symbol on them. A few children were running from a man wielding a blood-covered machete, and they ran right at me. I plucked them from the woods, pulled them to the ground and sliced the neck of the attacker.

“Stay here and stay down,” I warned them and handed the oldest one my spare gun just in case. I slipped through the woods, silent with the light feet of a hunter and stalker, and walked around the compound, looking for Family Members (what they called themselves) and grabbing them once in the cover of the trees and killing their attackers. It looked like those attackers had felt like this place was worth taking but hadn’t put much manpower into it, I counted 10 attackers, 8 men and 2 women, with those bands on their arms and foreheads. By the time they started to think something was wrong, they were down to 5.

The attackers gathered in the middle of the small compound, near the fire pit and cooking area, backs to each other, looking for the source of their fallen comrades. I stayed in the cover of the dense trees and underbrush, firing from my gun at them from random places and I could sense their panic as one by one they fell, gunshots directly to the center of the head, until just 1 remained. I aimed low this time and the attacker fell to the ground in pain, his leg bone shattered, and he howled with agony as I walked out to him, pulling all his weapons away from him and glaring at him as he tried to wiggle away from me.

I yanked on his collar, pulled off his marked bands and said in a very dangerous whisper, “where have you taken my people? The people that come to collect from them?” I motioned to the Family Members that came out of hiding and were looking for loved ones and caring for the injured. The attacker just looked at me with dull eyes, not saying anything, then I dug a hot stick from the fire pit into his wound. He screamed in agony as I stuffed his mouth with his own marked band, and I waited for him to stop crying, for the tears to subside, then I pulled out the band and asked again. “Where are my people?” I said and pulled out another stick, this one red-hot and still burning with a little fire on the end. I moved it close to his face, almost catching his dirty hair on fire. “They’re dead,” he finally said and I pressed the stick to his cheek as I stuffed the band into his mouth again. “Bullshit,” I said, my face hard and I refused to believe that some assholes took down someone like Simon. He looked back at me and smirked, and I pulled out a larger stick, and this time I said I wouldn’t hesitate to shove it up his ass; the mood I was in, I would do it too, though not as literally as he seemed to be thinking. “They’re dead, I swear; we don’t take prisoners. Their vehicle flipped a few miles down the road, we left the bodies there.” he looked terrified as he saw me move the stick closer to his back and his lower leg, then I flipped him over so I was pushing him on his stomach and he began to squirm and cry, begging me, telling me it was the truth.

I dropped the stick and punched him hard, knocking him out cold; Negan would need to talk to him once I got back there. I stood up and looked over at the Family, and saw that barely a handful were left. 3 kids, a man and a woman were all that remained, and all were injured in some way. The man clutched a long gash on his arm and the woman was naked, her clothes ripped away from her. I handed her my own jacket and she covered herself up as fast as she could, tears running down her bruised face and I could tell just what they had done to her. Once Negan found out, there would be hell to pay.

I turned to the group and looked at them. “You can’t stay here, it’s not safe anymore. I’ll take you to the hilltop, you can make a decision from there. But if you wanna leave here, we gotta go now, before their friends come looking,” I kicked the unconscious attacker and tied him up, linking his hands ad ankles together so all eh could do was stay on his belly, legs in the air behind him. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was safest for everyone. The man from the Family, his name was Joe I think, he picked up the hogtied attacker and dragged him behind me as I led the way to my car. It was a tight fit, but I shoved the attacker into the trunk, and one of the smaller kids sat on the woman’s lap. I had dug out some clothes of mine for her and patted her shoulder sympathetically. I didn’t know many women that hadn’t endured what she had in this living hell we called the apocalypse. 

I drove around the metal hidden in the road and looked for some sign of a vehicle being diverted, and finally saw some hastily hidden tracks; I pulled the car over and got out, taking the keys with me so the Family Members wouldn’t get any ideas. I followed the tracks off the beaten path, down a small, narrow, muddy trail that would barely fit a truck. The tracks were definitely from Simon’s normal collection truck, but as I turned a corner, my heart fell out. The truck was flipped over, oil, gas and blood mixing on the ground and dirt covering the once gleaming black paint. I slowly neared the tipped truck, and called out faintly, then heard the unmistakable sounds of a walker; my heart raced and ached as I got closer, then I stood next to the truck, bent down and looked inside.

All 5 were dead, and one of the men in the back was undead, his lower body gone, probably somewhere under the truck, and I knew him as a kid, barely 17 years old. I put a bullet in his head as I looked the others over; it looked like the impact of flipping over and hitting some trees had killed them and damaged their brains too much to come back. In the front seat, dried blood cracking as flies and maggots swarmed on him, was Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadness! Aura's loss will drive many decisions in the next few chapters, and she may end up regretting some of them. Namely one involving a certain bat-toting leader. (yeah, spoiler, something to look forward to!) Luv4uall!


	18. Dealing With It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura brings the last survivors of attack to Hilltop, and she must face telling Negan about this new threat, and Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy angst warning!

It felt like someone was taking my heart from my chest and stabbing it over and over again as I looked at my friend, face covered in blood, maggots slowly devouring his corpse. His hand was still one the steering wheel, another hand empty but looked like he’d had a gun in it the way it was partially closed. His eyes were semi-open, lifeless and empty, and I found tears streaming down my face as I reached out to touch him, almost like I was begging for him to suddenly look at me, to make sure he was really as he appeared. My hands touched cold, slightly slimy flesh and a maggot fell from my fingertips as I touched his head, then the back of his neck, something he’d do to me whenever I was angry or upset, usually with Negan.

I yanked on Simon, and he slid out of the mangled car much easier than I thought; there was no way in hell I was leaving him and the others out here. They deserved a proper burial, to be sent off like the soldiers, warriors and devoted men they were. And Negan, as much as he would deny it, would need to say goodbye to probably his best friend post-apocalypse. I got Simon pulled out and got 2 others out before someone came to look for me from the car and stopped when they saw what I was doing. The man looked at Simon with a look of contempt on his face, and I knew that Simon had collected from the Family many times in the past, but that sneer, that look on his face, I couldn’t handle it. Before the man knew it, he was on the ground, his body completely immobile under my own, and my knife at his neck. I drew some blood, y voice low and dark as I asked him in a harsh and choked whisper, “you got something you wanna say?” the man looked terrified at me and shook his head hard and I said even more darkly, “that’s what I thought.”

I made the man help carry the dead back to the car, and I strapped them to the roof, taking what I could from the wrecked truck and sighed a little. We’d never get to drive it or use it again; but it was Simon’s baby, so there was some kind of poetic ending to the truck when Simon was gone too. I looked up at Simon’s wrapped body one more time, touched his head, and slid into the driver’s seat and glared at the others in the car, daring them to questions me. No one looked up, no one said anything, so I drove off, taking it slower because of the cargo on the roof.

The attacker in the back of the trunk woke up about 20 minutes from hilltop and he was not happy about how he was scrunched and tied in the hot trunk, though the weather outside was cool. The woman in the backseat pulled over a small section of the middle seat and was able to see the attacker in the back. She punched him several times, until he finally shut up.

“Thank you,” I said, tears once more running down my face and she just nodded. “Thank you for not killing us,” the woman said and I looked up at her. “I had no intention of killing you, unless you killed my men. But I know you didn’t. So, like I said, I’m taking you to Hilltop. They’ve got like 200 people now, something like that, and it’s the best place for you to recover and restart. I’ll have doc Carson look you all over,” I said, no longer looking at them and instead trying not to lose vision as tears clouded my eyes. I wiped and blinked, thinking about times I had with Simon, most of which were good, at least for the apocalypse: playing cards, sometimes playing strip poker, talking like friends, backing each other up on runs and collections, and how he usually took my side whenever I was arguing with Dwight.

The Hilltop slowly came into view and I saw the guards at the top of the wall, spears in hand, and I got out, and knew they recognized me instantly. I came here alone sometimes, mostly to talk medical lingo with the doc, and spar with Jesus, just for fun. The kids got a kick out of it every time and Jesus and I were on decent terms, enough where he no longer instantly wanted to kill me. I opened the doors and let out the others, and they slowly got out as the gates were opened just enough for them to slip in, then the gate was forced shut. The children looked at the closed gate with some apprehension, but they couldn’t help the wonder and captivation they felt as they looked around at the massive compound.

“Welcome to the Hilltop. Gregory is the leader, and is a politician through and through, if you know what I mean. But Jesus is probably the one that’ll show you around. Speak of the badass,” I said in a teasing tone, but the humor didn’t reach my eyes as Jesus looked around at me. He could see the pain and sadness in my face even as I waved goodbye to the kids and pulled Jesus with me to talk to him quick. “Jesus, have you seen any people with a band like this on them?” I asked him and showed him one of the bands from the attackers. He picked it up and looked it over, twisting it in his hands and he eventually shook his head. 

“Fuck,” I said and took it back faster than I meant to and he could sense my anger.

“Sorry, its not you. A little while ago, men wearing this band attacked us at the sanctuary. We killed them all, but we lost some people in the fight. And now they’ve attacked the Family. Those 5 are the only ones that lived. They had 22, if my memory serves. Those men with this band came and burned the place to the ground and…well, I need to talk to the doc about that poor woman. I don’t know how fit her mental state will be once the adrenaline wears off.” Jesus just nodded as he looked at me and I could tell he knew just how I felt about Simon, how close we were.

“They managed to attack the sanctuary?” Jesus whispered as I showed the small group where the doc was, introduced them and asked the doc to look them over. 

“It wasn’t well thought out. They brought a herd of about 300 walkers to take down the fence and walls, but the walkers never got far. We lost about a dozen people, they lost all they sent,” I said the last part darkly, and a faint shout from outside the wall, muffled by cloth and metal, caught my attention. “I’ve got the last attacker from the Family compound in the trunk of my car. They killed Simon and some of our fighters, almost killed me when they hit the compound; Negan needs to interrogate him.”

Jesus was looking at me like he’d never seen me before, and I knew this was not something he expected me to do, but those people had openly attacked our compound, and no seemed to be settling for smaller compounds first. I asked Jesus to try and get to other compounds and warn them to keep an eye out, and he said he would, but still looking at me like he’d never seen me properly before. At the moment, I didn’t care.

The drive back to the sanctuary was not a fun one; the only noise was the wind outside the windows and the faint moving bodies on the roof. I’d knocked out the attacker in the back again, because I got sick of hearing him whine; I could only imagine what Negan would do to him once he learned that not only Simon and his men were dead, but they’d raped a woman. That was a rule that Negan would kill someone for breaking, or trying to break, no questions asked, no preliminary gloating. Quick and gory judgment. Maybe I’d do it myself, with Negan still stuck in his room, recovering.

As the lookout in the trees spotted me and whistled for me, I could feel eyes staring as the limp, dirty wrapped bodies moved slightly on my roof, and the man in the back woke up as the gates came into view. I slowly entered, and I heard whispering about what was on the roof, what happened and where I’d been. Dwight was the first one to come see me, and he looked at the wrapped bodies on the roof, then back at me. “No,” he said, his voice as desperate as I had ever heard it before. “The same ones that attacked us killed Simon and all his men. Wrecked his truck too,” I said finally started to dissolve into the tears I’d been holding back. I forced myself to pull it all together, and headed for the steps that would lead me to Negan, he needed to know; Dwight would handle the burial and ceremony, and the prisoner that was coming back to the land of the conscious in the trunk. This would be a very hard conversation.

Negan was awake and dressed, his bandage changed and he was waiting for me as I came up the stairs; he looked better than I had left him, though I’d only been gone for a day. He had his normal swagger back, though he wouldn’t be able to swing Lucille at full speed of another few weeks. His smirk and smile faded as I came over the threshold of the stairs and looked at him, tear marks obvious on my face and his face instantly lost its control and became angry, and he stormed back into his room, slamming the door behind him. Several of the wives opened their doors and looked out at the noise and I told them to go back into their rooms and leave Negan alone for a while, unless they wanted to feel his anger. “Simon was killed,” I finally said as the wives continued to look at me and I saw a few of them give me pity-filled looks, others looking to where Negan had stormed off to. “Don’t bother him for a while, he needs time; he counted on Simon, trusted him.” that was all I could say to the women as some looked like they wanted to talk to Negan about his loss, but I made sure they were all back in their rooms before I opened the office door.

I closed it softly behind me and saw that Negan had already pulled out some scotch, his trademark fancy crystal bottle, and oddly, 2 shot glasses. He poured what looked like his second one and sipped it, then set it down and glared at me, like it was my fault.

“Don’t you fucking blame me, Negan. He was doing what he normally does, keeping our appearances up, making sure no one suspects anything is wrong with the great and powerful Negan,” I said and I heard my voice rising as I felt the burn in my throat, and tears fell again.

Negan stormed to his feet, his glass tipping over and he snarled at me, no pretend smirk, no hiding his loss as he leered down at me. “You fucking blaming me? Is that what I fucking hear from your fucking mouth?” Negan’s voice was rising too. “If Simon didn’t have to go collect things from the Family, which I’ve said is a waste of time, resources and gas, he might still be here.” My voice was dark with anger now. a loud smack brought me back as I felt Negan’s hand on my face again and I clutched my nose as it started to bleed slightly. 

“What I do, I do to keep everyone fucking alive,” Negan growled at me as he grabbed my hair and pushed me against the wall, my body hitting it with a thud. “No, you take from other places to inflate your already massive ego. You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself,” I snapped at him and I almost immediately felt bad. I knew he cared about Simon, as much as he would deny it, and the people of the sanctuary meant something to him too, though not nearly as much as his power meant to him. I looked back up at him and saw he was still snarling down at me. I pulled myself out of his grasp and sat in the chair next to his, pulling an empty shot glass to me and poured a shot of scotch.

I looked over at Negan, poured some into his now spilt glass and eyed him expectantly. “I know how much you love your position and your power Negan; the control you have, you love that. But I know you loved Simon, as a best friend, and the person you trusted most. And I know those people mean at least a little something to you, I know you feel like you failed when they’re killed.” I looked over at Negan as he slowly made his way over to me and sat in his chair, pulling his glass towards his broad chest hidden under a thin t-shirt.

“But don’t you dare think for a fucking second that you’re the only one. I care more about them, give them more, than you do. I don’t give a shit about my position and the perks it gives me, only that my people are safe. And that includes Simon, Dwight and you. And don’t fucking say that you don’t need me to look after you. If that were true, you wouldn’t be drinking away Simon’s death.” I snapped at him as I heard him take an accusing breath in, ready to retort my claim.

I rubbed my face as I looked at my glass, thinking about Simon and everyone that I loved and cared for, and Daryl’s face came to mind again, and I sighed. I missed him, I missed him a lot and I wanted to see him, but with this new threat, the odds were not in my favor that I’d see him anytime soon. I looked to Negan, raised my glass and said, “To Simon. A friend, savior and horrible poker player.” Negan glanced at me then took in his entire glass, and so did I. It burned as the scotch or whatever it was slid down my throat and I could feel it sit hard in my stomach, burning in there too. I gasped for a second, I hadn’t done shots since I was in college. I set the glass down and finally was able to tell Negan what happened. When I told him about the woman, I saw that angry flash in his eyes and I knew that prisoner I had brought would pay, whether or not he did any of it. Then I told him how I found Simon and he grasped the shot glass so hard it shattered, and he cut his hand deep, pieces of glass lodging themselves in his large palm.

I spent the next 15 minutes telling him of the rest of the trip and plucking out the glass with as much care as I could, and I could see that he wasn’t really paying attention to the pain in his hand. I knew he was thinking about Simon.

“I don’t really blame you,” I finally said as I finished up his hand and Negan looked at me. “Simon was probably my best friend here. And they killed him. it’s like a never ending war, and no matter how hard I try, it never seems to be good enough. I keep losing people,” I said more to myself than Negan as I poured another shot. I took half of it and didn’t make a face like before and Negan finished his shot in one go. I felt hot tears in my eyes again and I felt like a failure as I thought about everyone that I had ever lost. My family when things first went to shit, group after group, fellow saviors, my brother, Simon…” I put my head on my arms and tried to calm my breathing, and I felt large hands on my shoulders.

“Heavy is the weight of the crown,” Negan finally said and I looked up him in surprise. He’d never really acknowledged something like that before, that he felt the weight of those people a few floors below him on his shoulders: they’re safety, wellbeing and future resting on him. I felt that way all the time. “I know,” was all I managed to say back and I felt really lame for a moment. I down the rest of the shot and could feel the alcohol slowly working into my blood from the empty stomach and my own senses fucked up from loss.

Negan was on his 4th shot glass and his face was getting lax and I was starting my 3rd. it’d been a while since I drank, and I knew I should stop, but I couldn’t. I wanted to make the pain and pressure and constant worry go away, if only for a little while. I felt Negan’s hand on my shoulder again and I slowly put my hand on his. “Simon was a great fucking guy,” Negan finally spoke and I looked over at him. “Great worker, great soldier, friend,” Negan said the last word faintly and I wasn’t even sure I heard it. But Negan’s face told me he meant it.

“He was. Good friend, good man. I knew he had my back, I trusted him to have it,” I said and looked over at Negan, who was nodding. “I don’t trust a lot of people, like you, but I trusted him.” Negan was getting a little flush in the cheeks and I pulled the booze away from him before he did something stupid, like vomit or run off and rip out his stitches. I finished my 3rd shot and looked back at Negan. “I don’t trust you either. It’s hard to trust the many moods of Negan,” I chuckled at my own nickname for his odd swings in his temper and he glared at me. “Many moods, what the fuck does that mean?” Negan snarled and I smirked at him and his snarl got bigger. “It means I have no idea how you’ll react to something. You could think it’s a joke, get pissed for no apparent or valid reason, or be in such a pissy mood you decide to bring down Lucille. No way in hell I can trust someone as unpredictable as that. The only thing I can predict from you is that you’ll put yourself first, and you’re power second. Everyone else is 3rd,” I said and then I added, “I’m not even in the top ten. I hope Simon was at least.” Negan flipped the table over in anger and I fell back form the chair, grabbing at my head where the table had collided with it. Negan’s hand came out of nowhere and pulled me back to the wall, pinning me there, and I felt his anger, hurt and sorrow flowing rom his body like heat, and I glared back, my own sorrow matching it.

“Don’t you fucking talking like that to me again. Fucking got it, Aura?” Negan snarled at me and I remembered the deal I had made and slowly nodded, by brain fuzzy from lack of air and too much booze. Negan let me slide down the wall and I barely caught myself. “You’re in the top ten,” Negan finally said and I slowly stood up. I could see just how broken he looked, but it was only for a moment, then the glare and gleam was back. He was walking back to me and he leaned against me, one hand on the wall, the other on his hip as he leered over me. This close to him, I could smell the alcohol and his cologne, see the dimples under his salt and pepper beard when he gave me a snarky smile and see his muscles moving under the thin t-shirt.

I pulled myself together enough to move away from him and I could see him tense up when I got away, but I didn’t got very far; I sat back in the chair and sighed, putting my head on my arms. 

“I’m tired, Negan. I’m tired of pretending all the time, pretending to be strong and fierce and the woman that those people look up to. I’m tired of always being afraid I’m gonna let them down. I mean, how the hell do you deal with it?” I was crying again and Negan was beside me, and he put a hand under my chin to make me look at him. He leaned closer to me, so we were inches away and his breath was falling warm onto my face, smelling like toothpaste and scotch. “I do it for them,” Negan said and I snorted, then covered my mouth as that very unladylike noise came out. Negan leaned back, his booming laugh filling the room, and I was chuckling, but hid my face in embarrassment. Negan stopped laughing eventually and I looked up at him, the smile gone from my face, and his smile fell too. He sat in the chair next to me again and he looked at me, hard.

“I do it to keep as many fucking people alive as I can. I just make fucking sure to give myself enough fucking perks to make the pressure bearable. You cant fucking carry the weight of the whole fucking world, Aura.” Negan was looking at me, with probably the kindest look he’s ever given me, even that weird nonsense he was spouting my first night back wasn’t this intense or sincere. I leaned forward and placed my head onto his shoulder, and slowly wrapped my arms around his wide shoulders. His large hands slowly made their way across my back, then slid down to my hips and he pulled me back a few inches. I looked up at him, and I could see some pain in his eyes, the pain of losing a friend, the person he trusted most when trusting someone could get you killed, and every day was a never-ending struggle to stay alive.

Negan was looking at me like I’d never seen him look at me before, and for the first time I thought I saw that weight of this place in his eyes. He leaned down towards me, his face coming closer to mine, inch by slow inch, his eyes slowly closing. I found myself closing my own eyes, leaning upwards, tiny inch by tiny inch, my mind not focused on anything other than the man before me, someone that I seemed to hate, and someone that I seemed to need at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, will alcohol and emotions get the best of Aura? Luv4uall!


	19. Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Aura let the booze take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut smut warning. (but i bet you've been waiting for this)

Negan lowered his head and his lips slowly made contact with mine. His lips were a wet from booze, soft and full as I met him with my own. My hands ran up to meet his hair, and my fingers wound into his thick dark hair; his stubble tickled my chin ad lips as the kissing got harder, and he nibbled my lower lip a little bit. I opened my mouth and licked his upper lip with my tongue, and he opened his mouth and our tongues found one another’s, fighting for control. Negan’s tongue worked into my mouth, licking my lips and teeth, then tasting my tongue. As my hands gripped his hair, his hands worked down past my hips to my thighs then back up, then to my back and down to my ass and he squeezed slightly. I groaned lightly into his mouth.

I wasn’t sure when we started moving, I was too caught up in making out with the man in front of me. His large, strong hands traced patterns up and down my back, sending goosebumps and shivers up and down my body, and soon my nipples were erect, begging for attention and I felt a faint warmth between my legs. Something poking my lower belly was starting to annoy me, but then all I could think about were those lips on mine, the large hands on my back, the fingers that sent shivers through me with the faintest touch.

The backs of my legs hit something, but I had no idea what it was, I refused to open my eyes and let this end. Large hands slowly moved down to the hem of my shirt and played with it and I opened my eyes finally, seeing Negan there, though he was slightly blurry, his lips bruised and red from kissing. A faint hickey was rising on his neck, and I didn’t remember giving it to him. Negan’s hands slowly raised my shirt, until he couldn’t anymore with my hands at my sides. I looked at him, seeing the pain still in his eyes and I slowly raised my arms.

The shirt was off almost immediately, and I vaguely heard it rip, but those lips were on mine again and nothing mattered. My lips moved from his lips to his neck and lightly bit on the same spot as before, and I heard a groan somewhere above me and the thing poking my belly twitched and got harder. Negan’s teeth bit into my neck lightly and I gasped at the sudden contact, pushing my chest into him as hard as I could. By the look he gave me, I knew he could feel my hardened nipples through the bra. Negan looked down at my bra, but before he did, I pulled off his t-shirt and looked at his bare chest.

For his age, he was in amazing shape, even with the feeling scar on his stomach. He was well defined and toned, with nice pecs and amazing arms; I ran my fingers over his collar bones and arms as I looked them over; I’d seen him shirtless before, but I’d never really appreciated how good he looked. I took a nipple in my mouth and bit gently and I heard a louder groan this time, and I did the same to the other side. Strong arms picked me up and I fell softly onto a bed that I didn’t remember heading for; I turned back to Negan, about to ask him something, then I saw he was removing his pants too, and I realized what had bene poking me in the lower belly. I took in his lean, toned legs and marveled at how he seemed to be chiseled from head to foot.

Now only in his boxers, Negan climbed onto the bed and he leaned over me once again, and started kissing again. He was a great kisser, not something I’d ever really thought about; his lips kissed down my neck to the tops of my breasts and bra, from one side to another. I reached behind me as he leaned up to undo my jeans and I unhooked my bra.

I felt the fabric of my bra fall away and Negan was staring, half done unzipping my pants and he just stared. Then he moved forward with intense purpose and pushed his open mouth over one of my nipples, and licked and sucked it. I arched back into the touch as his other hand pinched my other nipple. Then he switched sides, his tongue flicking the nipple in his warm mouth, his fingers pulling and pinching; I gasped when he pulled away, the cold air hardening my nipples more. Negan left open-mouth kisses down my body from my breasts to the top of my jeans. His large hands came forward and he slowly undid them, like he was savoring the moment. When they were finally unzipped, he pulled them off me, kissing his way down my legs as he exposed more of my thighs and legs, kissing both sides, until my pants were on the floor.

Negan crawled back onto the bed with me, then he looked down to his bulging boxers and pulled them down, tossing them somewhere in the dark room. I’d never seen Negan like this before, this aroused. The rumors the wives told were true, Negan was huge; his cock pulsed with his heartbeat and was leaking precum as he looked down at me and he lay on me again, bringing my lips in for another searing and long kiss. My hands slowly worked down from his hair to his cock, and I heard him groan and growl when my fingers grazed it. My hand slowly wrapped around his hard, twitching cock, and rubbed the tip with my thumb, then worked the shaft a little bit, slow and steady. Negan growled low in my ear and without thought he shoved a finger inside me.

He’d tried to get 2 in, but wouldn’t fit, so he went for one, and started working me open. It was amazing as his thumb grazed my clit and his finger moved in and out and bent around inside me. A few moments later, another finger sild in, and it was a very tight squeeze; Negan had me panting and leaning against his shoulder, my body shaking as his thumb continued to rub my clit and his fingers curled inside me, trying to find that little button that would send me into a tailspin. An ache in my lower belly started and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I fell over the edge. Negan sensed this, pulled out his fingers slowly, then carefully licked my juices of his fingers before moving farther up the bed, making his hips level with mine.

A smirk was playing on his face as he leaned back, placing my legs over his shoulders, spreading me wide. “I wanna see your cunt swallow my cock whole,” Negan finally spoke and he lined himself up with my entrance, then slowly pushed his large, pulsing head in. The build in my body let go all at once and I gasped and writhed as my first orgasm ripped through my body, my legs shaking and Negan could feel me pulsing around what little bit of his cock was inside me. “I expect you to keep count,” Negan whispered in my ear, only his head inside me, then he pulled back, put my legs back over his shoulder, grasped my hips and thrusted in the rest of the way. I gasped at the sudden intrusion, taken off guard, then he started moving and the heat in my belly started to coil again. The bed creaked under us as Negan started a punishing, fast and deep pace, his face dripping with sweat, loud groans and grunts coming from his luscious lips and I gasped, grabbing onto his wide shoulders. Every time he moved forward, he was balls-deep inside me, pulling out almost all the way, then thrusting in as hard and deep as he could.

As Negan’s cock swelled and twitched inside me, I could see the strain on his face, that look that he was about to cum; my hands gripped his shoulders harder, pulling myself up, almost touching my breasts to my knees as I hung onto him, and that angle hit something inside me. I unraveled around him, full-on screaming, body shaking, white lights in my eyes and Negan’s name flew from my lips as my walls squeezed tight around his cock. Negan followed me over the edge short after, and I felt his warm seed deep inside me, plastering my inner walls. I was still coming down when Negan came out of me, slowly, then collapsed on the bed next to me, pushed me over to the side a little bit and he was snoring.

When the high faded and I was awake in the room, alcohol still buzzing in my head, I let my own head fall onto the thick, wonderful pillows, thinking about how Negan was affected when he lost people too, it wasn’t just me. Somehow, that seemed to make it all more bearable. Then exhaustion and sleep overtook me, and almost as soon as the blanket was over my body I was out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next comes the morning after... Luv4uall!


	20. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter in this part of the series. Hope you're all ready.
> 
> Aura wakes up to find she doesn't remember why she's naked next to Negan, and the guilt is almost too much for her. She's determined to tell Daryl the truth, but an emergency pulls her attention elsewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter in this book, but I'll start a new book, the final book in the series soon, so don't worry. It'll probably be up later today or tomorrow. And it will start with a terrifying revelation for Aura, when she realizes she's missed an important date. Call it a result from Negan.
> 
> This is also one of the longer chapters, but since this is the end of the book, it felt like it needed to be, to set it up.

I refused to open my eyes when I first woke up, despite the sun pouring in over my face and hitting me as I tried to ignore the sounds of people up and about. I rolled a bit in the big, comfy bed and I wondered where the hell I was for a minute; a large and warm body lay next to me, snoring loudly, and I felt for the mouth in my sleepy haze, trying to shut it so I could go back to sleep. I felt a lot of facial hair, way more than Daryl had.

My eyes shot open and I shook out of the covers, completely naked and I ran to the bathroom and immediately vomited. I hit my head on the toilet seat, and tears fell down my face faster and harder than ever in my life, even more so when I said goodbye to Daryl. Oh, fucking dear God, what the hell did I do?

I heard loud, deep chuckling in the next room and I immediately felt rage and anger; I stormed from the bathroom, still completely naked and saw the smirk on Negan’s face and I wanted to slap it off him. He smirked at me as he saw the look on my face, the regret and the self-loathing, and he got out of bed, tying a towel around his waist and tried to plant a kiss on my forehead, and I smacked him on the neck, backing away from him, crying harder until I was a sobbing mess on the floor.

“Don’t be like that, babygirl,” Negan said as he stood over me and he tried wrapping a hand over my back and I jerked away from him. His smirked stayed in place but I heard the growl in his voice as he looked down at me; “This was part of the deal, you know. You fucking said it yourself: we’d fuck, long as no one knew.” He laughed to himself at how I was dissolving on the floor into a heaping mess. He knew that I was in love with someone else, and that someone else was at Alexandria, but he wasn’t sure who. His first thought was either Rick or the military man, Abraham; his mind had gone to the archer, but there was no way in hell someone as self-righteous as Aura would go for a piece of redneck trash like him. 

“Pick yourself up, babygirl, you got patients to see, and I got a war to fight,” Negan said as he pulled on Lucile, swing her around a few times then set her back down in the chair and hopped into the shower.  
I couldn’t believe what I had just done; I didn’t even remember kissing Negan or getting into bed with him, I barely remembered them talking last night about Simon’s death, or the men with the armbands. I barely remembered driving Simon’s body back to the sanctuary for a proper burial. I looked up as the shower turned on and I pulled on my dirty clothes and left the room, unable to be in the same area as Negan with the idea coming into my head that I should cut off his dick and balls and shove them down his throat.

I slammed the door behind me, wiping my face and one of the wives opened the door, and I saw Tanya there, a smirk and a glare on her face and she looked at me and said in her normal snide tone, “Negan tell you no? You’d never be wife number 7.” She closed the door behind her and I heard her laughing with a terrible devious tone but all I could think about was what I had just done. I thought about Daryl, what this would do to him if he found out. I didn’t trust Negan not to flaunt this next time he was in Alexandria, if only to see who I was attracted to, and to watch us fall apart or break up. As I thought this, all I could think about was Daryl, his face when he found out, and I knew I needed to tell him before he found out, before Negan brought it up. I at least owed Daryl that, the truth, before someone else used it to destroy him.

I made it back to my room and found Dwight inside, waiting for me and I grunted in anger, I did not need him right now. I rubbed my eyes and he looked at me with a knowing look, he knew what happened last night; “Dwight, can this wait?” I asked him and he shook his head. “I got word from some of our runners: Ravine compound and the town of Everest have both been burned to the ground, no survivors, nothing left, not shit, except eaten bodies. The runners were ambushed and some made it back, but they’re in bad shape,” I stood still, it was barely 48 hours since the Family had been attacked, and now 2 other communities were completely gone?

“Give me 10 minutes, I’ll change and be down,” I said and Dwight nodded. “And Dwight,” I said to him and he looked at me, and I could see the rare sign of compassion on his face for me, considering he and I were often at one another’s throats. “Tell Negan, he’s in his room.”

Dwight nodded to me and I didn’t want to look at Negan right now, I couldn’t, or I’d probably rip out his throat, or his testicles, either would work. I knew this anger was at myself for letting myself become so weak and let Negan get to me, in every way; I was stronger than this, stronger than Negan, stronger than whatever he tried to feel for me. Daryl and I were…I stopped thinking about Daryl because I knew I’d lose it if I did. I couldn’t think about him at all until I had the chance to talk to him alone, and personally. I had to tell him, there was no doubt in my mind about that; it’d destroy him, yeah, but he deserved to know the truth before Negan dangled it over his head.

I washed myself in the water basin in my room before pulling on some old scrubs I found in a storm a few months ago and pulled out the small amount of medical equipment I kept in my room, which I normally took on runs, just in case. Stethoscope, clean needles, bandages, gloves, and a large first aid kit and the few drugs we had left: Negan wouldn’t trust anyone with the powerful meds, he didn’t even trust the new people, even his own men, but he knew I would never use them on anyone unless it was an emergency, and I would never sell them for profit or whatever people did with black-market drugs behind his back. I pulled the large bag over my shoulder and locked my room behind me and heard the sounds of Negan walking down the hall, coming to meet me, a serious look on his face and I knew he wanted to talk to me, but I refused to give him the chance and I took off down the steps, running to the medical bay.

I left Negan a few floors above me, because he was still supposed to be in bed, but there was no way he wasn’t coming down to the talk to the surviving runners. When I got into the medical bay, I found my helpers prepping everyone already, cleaning them and I thanked them each in turn, calling them by name and then giving them new orders as I triaged the patients and tried to find the worst off.

The one with the missing side of his head was the worst off, but I could tell, as much as it pained me, that he wouldn’t live. Even if I managed to save his life, he’d slip into a coma as a vegetable and die, or else infection in his brain would take over. His wounds to his head were dirty, like he’d been dragged through mud, and I had an idea that was exactly what happened. I shook my head at him and gave him some sedative, to let him fall asleep, knowing it would be better if he just closed his eyes, let go of the pain, and simply never wake up. It was better than days, or even weeks of agony; almost as soon as his eyes closed, I listened to his chest and shook my head at his beady-eyed sister and she immediately dissolved into tears, hugging her brother tight. I looked at her, placed my hand on her shoulder and sighed. She pulled out her own knife, looked at me with a begging face, a face that was hoping I would give her any kind of hope, but I shook my head. “He’s gone, Emily,” I said to her and she cried hard, then slid the knife into her big brother’s temple, left the knife there and took off, running out through the room, past Negan and nearly bowled him over in her sorrow. Negan just looked at her; he should be angry that someone ran into him and nearly knocked him over, but he didn’t have it in him right now to bring down punishment.

I ignored Negan as he walked over to me, Dwight right behind him and I turned to the one most injured but most likely to survive; a large piece of metal, like the one I had seen in the road, stuck out of his side, but it wasn’t very deep, just large and painful. I pulled out the few pain meds I had in my bag, gave him enough to take the edge off, and gave him some sedatives, both working to make him still and groggy, a dopey look on his face as one of the orderlies covered up his body and pulled out the tool tray for me to get to work.

“Here, learn something,” I said to the orderly, Pam was her name, and she was a few years older than me, but a fast learner and eager to please me and make a difference. She leaned over the poor boy as he giggled like a kid and someone else, another injured man, looked at him with a jealous look and I nodded to the only actual nurse we had in the sanctuary. She pulled out the meds I had in my bag, I told her the dose and she gave them to the other boys. They were mostly boys, in their late teens, early twenties, though only a few years younger than me, they looked so young and innocent as I looked from one to the other as the nurse, Jamie, gave them all the same meds and the sounds of distress and pain faded from the room. An occasional giggle, though mostly snoring, filtered through the room as I slowly cut out the metal in the young man’s body, Pam looking at the entire thing with wide eyes and eager. When I was almost done cutting, with only a simple cut left to do, I pulled her closer, then pressed the scalpel into her hand.  
She shivered with the thought, and I marked on his body in pen where I wanted her to cut, and told her how deep. I watched carefully, wary she might get too excited and overdo it, but she was steady and confident as I stood beside her, my hand on her back as I watched, letting her know I was there if she needed it. The scalpel followed the pen mark exactly, never faltering from it, and she slowly pulled her hand away once the cut was done. She looked at me, her hands slightly bloody, the scalpel still in her hands and her face was literally glowing as she looked at me and the scalpel, then back at the patient. I took the scalpel from her, seeing that awed look on her face I once had when I was a paramedic and ended up performing emergency surgery in the back of a van. Long story.

Pam backed up and watched with interest as I slowly maneuvered the metal from the doped-out kid’s body, 2 others holding him down so he didn’t move, but he was snoring, out cold from the meds and exhaustion. Everyone watched with bated breath as the metal came out of the kid’s side and the bleeding was minimal, the best I could hope for. It had been a flesh wound, though a very painful one, and I didn’t envy him when he woke up. There would be no pain meds for him once he did, we couldn’t spare them.

Negan picked up the large piece of metal and looked at it, almost like he knew what it was from, but I was busy with the patients as I looked inside the kid, lights blaring bright around me as I made sure I wasn’t missing anything. When I felt confident, I told Pam to close the kid up and she nearly hit the roof when I told her that. I watched her make the first few stitches, but I felt confident in her after the 3rd one and decided I could move on to another. I pulled another orderly over, wanting to teach each of them something, I needed to teach them, in case something happened to me. The sanctuary had lost me once before and a couple dozen died in those 7 weeks. I couldn’t let that happen again.

I faintly heard Negan and Dwight talking about something, Negan holding the metal in his hands, even though it was still bloody, and I could feel the rage coming off of him as he looked it over. Not only had those people with the armbands attacked where he ruled, they were now taking away their sustenance and supplies, the small communities that paid tribute to him. There was no way in hell any of those people were going to live now.

I moved from one patient to another, and pulled an orderly on each one, showing them the basics, mostly stitches, cleaning a wound properly, and making sure that there was no dead tissue before the wound was closed, or it would fester and kill them. The last boy I was looking at had some dead tissue in his leg wound and I sighed, knowing the best treatment for it, but it would make everyone ill. I removed all the dead flesh and muscle I could, then I went over to a small container I kept in a back room, one that kind of smelled, but no one was stupid enough to open, since I had written on it not to. I opened the box and someone screamed and ran out of the room, and I could understand it: humans hated maggots, simply because it meant something was dead, but the maggots would consume and remove only the dead tissue in the wounds, and then I would remove the maggots once they were done, and dispose of them before they became flies. I had a maggot farm in a corner of the compound, away from people to prevent contamination, and it worked well, though it made my own skin crawl. I placed the maggots in the wound, covered it up, then maked notes on the chart at the foot of the bed to check the wound every few hours for any dead tissue, and to contact me once it was all gone.

I felt eyes, most of them squinted in disgust, looking at me as I put the box back in my office. It felt good to have my office back, I had to admit as I washed my hands and told everyone they could leave, to clean up and let the loved ones in. the dead young man had been removed already, wrapped in sheets, the knife removed and he would be burned, a plaque made for him in the memorial room. We couldn’t bury our dead behind the walls, I had said it was a terrible idea, since it could contaminate the ground and the water and spread disease with a good rain.

Negan looked away from the metal and looked at me, but he didn’t say anything and I could tell he was hiding the pain in his body from his own wound and I told him to sit on a table. He didn’t want to at first, but I gave him a look, and as much as he hated to admit it, he wouldn’t win against me in the mood I was in. I was still very angry about what happened last night, but I couldn’t let my personal life into my professional life. That’s how doctors lost patients and how they lost their jobs and their confidence. I looked Negan’s wounds over, and he was healing fast, and I told him to apply this new cream I had made, it wasn’t special, just something to speed up the healing of the skin so he could leave the sanctuary and go on missions. As much as I wanted to slit his throat right now, I couldn’t.

Because, at this moment, we all, Dwight, Negan and I, knew it.

We were at war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and for reading my work, it means a lot to me. See you all in the next and final part of this series. Luv4uall!!!


End file.
